I’ve been ‘depressed’ for ages, trying to find out what’s wrong with me and what purpose I can find to live. I sort of wanted to participate more in society but something was pulling me away. I’ve been trying to figure out what it is, I just felt that this world is wrong and bad. My friends try to show me that the world is lovely too and I agree that I live in a ‘great place’ (London) where everything’s glittery and hustle bustle, but I always felt a bit sinister about the world and the past year it’s grown to a large scale, enough for me now to just want to die. I’ve thought long an hard, and sensibly to find any reason to live, but haven’t. Why? Â So tonight I was looking at some of the videos that have been posted on here, and I searched more and more stuff, not sure how or why but I stumbled upon Taliban videos that horrified me, one was a public stoning and it was the most horrifying thing that I ever saw.Â
I was supposed to see this. Please don’t anyone reply to this post by saying that I should not watch this stuff because I strongly disagree, that would be turning a blind eye and pleading ignorance. For years I have been deeply troubled by animal cruelty and child molestation and murder etc and all this corrupt war that goes on. How on earth can ANYONE say that I should find some joy in life because I HAPPEN to live in lovely london and not in MANY other countries that constantly act out pure evil? I MYSELF would feel like a sick b@stard if I COULD find any happiness knowing this goes on in MY world and by MY people.Â
I am officially sickened to be human and to be a part of this world, and I am deeply embarrassed that I have taken any fun and comfort from this place whilst this goes on next door. No-one will render me powerless to this extreme evilness, I will surrender my own life than do that.
8 comments
I know you asked no-one to post a reply – still – here I am doing it anyways 🙂
Your voice, your opinion on what you described above. I totally understand, however what you are saying and feeling is a true reflection of how humanity isn’t lost just yet. There are lots of good people in the world and you clearly are one of them.
Evil is all around us I agree, having been at the hands of it at a very young age but I am not powerless to defend against it now. Your voice here posting is a sign of your power too. Use that…harness it….cherish that power you have to do good. Everyone reading this has that same power to do good as well.
Most people have forgotten how good they truly can be. Do something that makes you feel good about you. Do a good deed for a random, I’m not saying every day but try it. You live in London, having done so myself at one point in my life I know of the extremes of social deprevation that exist. I’m not saying change that or change the world.
You have the power to change your world though. Smile at a random on the tube – crazy i know…talk to a random on the tube – even crazier! Help your world become a better place and it willl fall into place, trust me 🙂
I’m not a niave person by any means, I know it all sounds a bit hairy fairy however it only takes a recognition of a smile to make it start. If you don’t try it, you’ll never know. 🙂
I don’t think ‘smiling at a random’ is what this woman needs, what she wants is to stop women, kids and animals being brutally murdered. How on earth can smiling at a random make that happen? From what I gather from this woman I bet she smiles at randoms all the time as she sounds so loving, so it’s really rather insulting to tell her to do that. Don’t get me wrong here, you’re message has a good point to it – yes we all should be spreading some love and being more compassionate and caring, just like you suggest. But this woman clearly can’t live with knowing all the TRUE EVIL that is happening around her on a much wider scale. She can’t do anything about it so she wants to die. Smiling at someone wont change that for ANYONE. You seem to have totally misunderstood this post my friend
True evil is all around I agree, having been a victim of it but if you do nothing about it then what? I do understand the post Jed, Siobhan is sick of turning the news on and seeing death and destruction, like most decent human beings, who are repulsed by the events that take place right before us.
Decent folk feel a sense of impotence when bad things happen to others and it can be overwhelming sometimes. I’ve seen it all too many times in healthcare – Nurses/ Drs “burn out”. They have nothing left to give, until they regain that ability to empower themselves again and others. I know what your saying about wanting to stop women kids etc being nurdered but that simply isn’t possible. One person can’t make a difference basically yeah? What I’m saying to Siobhan is that if you can’t change the world, change the world around you & start small!
I do agree that smiling at someone won’t stop evil in the world, it might not even make a damn bit of difference to the person being smiled at but good has to start somewhere inside everyone of us…
Thanks though for giving me something to think about 🙂
Like I said Time, I do agree with that point your making, it is very important to start by at least making your own surroundings and the people in it a nicer place.
I just feel that I really empathize with what she’s saying, and I too sometimes think that even making people smile this end is not really doing anything about really saving ourselves. Sure you will make those around you feel happier that day but what about the many more people that are in a living hell at the same time. i think she’s saying that she wants nothing to do with a life like that. I understand what shes saying and sometimes I feel like I have dead children and women and animals in my basement you know, and I have to keep doing the shopping up here in the house and maybe even have a party now and again. Feel a bit like I’m dancing on peoples graves.
I see your point and I see hers.
Then “Be the CHANGE you want to see in this world” (Mahatma Gandhi)
This phrase always struck so much to me.
And also this new one that I’ve just found:
“Changing the world doesn’t require much money. Again, think in terms of empowerment and not charity. How much were Gandhi’s teachers paid? How much did it cost to give Dr.Martin Luther King the books that catalyzed his mind and actions?” – Tim Ferris
Smiling is of course important.
But I remember what Splinter said in his famous thread here http://suicideproject.org/2010/08/lets-face-it-were-all-evil-in-some-way/
that the reason that perhaps you are feeling like this is most probably because you *KNOW* that you’re capable MORE of doing than ‘just smiling’.
And as long as you DON’T do ’em (or other radical alternative: to end it all..), you won’t find the TRUE inner-peace!
The voice is there for a reason.
You have a choice: to USE it, harness it, grow it (like time said well above), or to continue ignore it, and it will forever keep ‘haunting’ you.
I now strongly realize the truth of the predictions that many of you here are probably the ‘Indigo children’, ie: one of the signs being feeling so much “in tune” with Unity and Peace, and such very strong urge to “change the world for better” (just google “attributes traits of Indigo”).
Seeing all of these threads itself somehow makes me still have HOPE and believe that perhaps it’s true that there is currently an increasing shift to ‘Higher Consciousness’, in a whole. especially among this generation!
There is still hope.
It is still not lost.
and you certainly have a CHOICE, to be part of the HOPE itself.
Then “Be the CHANGE you want to see in this world†(Mahatma Gandhi)
This phrase always struck so much to me.
And also this new one that I’ve just found:
“Changing the world doesn’t require much money. Again, think in terms of empowerment and not charity. How much were Gandhi’s teachers paid? How much did it cost to give Dr.Martin Luther King the books that catalyzed his mind and actions?†– Tim Ferris
Smiling is of course important.
But I remember what Splinter said in his famous thread here http://suicideproject.org/2010/08/lets-face-it-were-all-evil-in-some-way/
that the reason that perhaps you are feeling like this is most probably because you *KNOW* that you’re capable MORE of doing than ‘just smiling’.
And as long as you DON’T do ‘em (or other radical alternative: to end it all..), you won’t find the TRUE inner-peace!
The voice is there for a reason.
You have a choice: to USE it, harness it, grow it (like time said well above), or to continue ignore it, and it will forever keep ‘haunting’ you.
I now strongly realize the truth of the predictions that many of you here are probably the ‘Indigo children’, ie: one of the signs being feeling so much “in tune†with Unity and Peace, and such very strong urge to “change the world for better†(just google “attributes traits of Indigoâ€).
Seeing all of these threads itself somehow makes me still have HOPE and believe that perhaps it’s true that there is currently an increasing shift to ‘Higher Consciousness’, in a whole. especially among this generation!
There is still hope.
It is still not lost.
and you certainly have a CHOICE, to be part of the HOPE itself.
“There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to only one who is striking at the root.” – Henry David Thoreau, Walden
Siobhan, your soul is not of this world. This is not your home and these are not your people. You are a Starseed, an Indigo child and bare the heavy burden of enduring this terrible place. You are at this point in your life to choose your destiny, either to return home to the light, the most wonderful place you could ever imagine which you came from; Or to continue on to raise the vibration of the earth to 13 hertz. This is your awakening.