i found this website today and made an account and so here i am telling you my story after my parents split up when i was 8 and i moved to California i would still visit my dad in Arizona on breaks and holidays from school. When i went into 6th grade my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer it had spread to his bones and needed to start chemo right away he did and then there was no trace of the cancer. Towards the end off my 6th grade year it all came back he was fighting and doing everything he could he was faced with lukimea by the end of my 7th grade year and he passed away it has been one year sense he died and after he died everything changed my mom and I were fighting more and more often my brother moved out of the house and is not planning on coming back. My mom has something called Borderline Personality disorder my therapist said it is like bipolar only this is caused by a poor child hood or traumatic event she needs to go to a lot of therapy and get help but she refuses because well she has no idea that she is this disorder. The fighting and her constant drinking the stress and sadness all coming down at once I started cutting my self in the middle of my 8th grade year. I would not tell her because I knew she would get upset the cutting filled the holes in my heart i lost friends after i started dating a boy who i loved dearly until he broke my heart three days ago while we were together we got close very fast faster then a normal 8th grade going into high school couple does. When my mom found out about my cutting it was through CPS, after that they stopped seeing us and we have been seeing a family therapist which helps and I see a therapist once a week which helps so i can talk about whats going on. School starts and that is okay me and my boyfriend at the time were doing just okay I became friends with one of his ex girl friends he starts getting WAY too close to other girls and he ignored me as if i was not a person at all after we broke up my world fell apart I would not stop crying the tears would just come out of me i have been in bed for days i finally got up today but only to try and kill myself i did a overdose of my antidepressants all day i have had dry mouth, i feel like i want to puke i have felt like that all day and I was really tired in the middle of the day and I have not told my mom about my attempt because i am scared of what will happen my life feels empty and dull what is going to happen? will i be okay tomorrow well i feel fine? or worse? any ideas of what i should do? please help me.
5 comments
I’m not a doctor and I don’t play one on tv, but if your not goin to tell anyone I would recommend not taking anymore pills. Pills are a HORRIBLE way of killing yourself! I tried a week ago. Pills and wine didn’t even work. It just made me sick and depressed.
Hope it helps ^.^
yeah it did not work, i just wish there was a way so i could feel better! i don’t always like the empty feeling 🙁
I dig ya on that one! I feel hollow. Sometimes it feels I can here the hollow, and there’s no pill that can fill the hollow. I don’t know, but I’ll probably end up trying Untill I really do kill myself
Well first off, you’re in eighth grade. You have lots and lots of time to recover. He’s your first boyfriend. It’s not the end of the world. You have a large future and there are plenty of fish in the sea. I can tell you get very attached to people due to your parents. You don’t want to be left alone. Well, try making lots of…. acquaintances… That way, you can talk to them whenever, but because you may not talk to them every single day, there’s no real ‘bond’ or strong attachment. If they decide to be your friend, let them. You’ll have more people to talk to and you won’t be alone.
thanks you are probably right going into high school is a new clean slate i still feel empty and sad