Hey I think Ive realised that maybe I am single because of insecurities, Ive been on the sick a long time for depression and neurolical problems, have a big drug history and Ive lived quite a painful life that maybe i think is just different to what women are looking for. maybe I try to give a different impression but it ends up making me look like a twat, only really on line , but I think in other ways not on the net its also hampering my chances of finding someone. If someone does like me in real life I usually either miss my opportunity or pull away and pretend im not interested to maybe avoid being rejected. Ive only really ever had one serious relationship and that was with a girl I didnt really want (well not physically) and she ended up hurting me massively come the end because i did still care for her and she only wanted me for shallow reasons, and the hurt from that made me even more insecure than I was before! I think Ive become a bit spiteful because ive never really had a choice, and ive been single 4 years now, again not out of choice, Im 6ft 2 , handsome and have always been a great friend to my friends but its like these insecurities just keep me from being my best with eligible women, they keep me from getting close if I fancy them I guess. even in a club if I attract a girl from my dancing which has happened once she comes over I dont feel comfortable and it makes me do wrong things or either walk away and play uninterested. They deffinietly also stem from childhood I think. So its been really difficult, Ive become a bit twisted and it feels like im gonna have to be a rock star just to get a relationship with someone, which is a bit silly! on line it only takes one word out of sync and you get judged for it and its like my heart pushes out something negative from something negative which i think at the time is possitive, its kinda trying to mask my insecurity I guess but it gets misunderstood.. I really Wish women were more simple and just wanted us in the same way we want them, we arnt very personal but it seems to me they are very personal without actually knowing much about you, its just surface attraction i guess which is screwing me up. I dont know Im just sick of being alone I guess and misunderstood and judged wrongly! can any body relate to this or am i just more twisted than most? and is there any organisations that can help you with relationship issues like these or is again a case of sort it out on your own? lol
thanks for reading.
5 comments
Well, sometimes when someone feels insecure about theirself, others notice and sometimes it can keep them away. So you might be on the right track.
You should get to know yourself more and make yourself happy.
well i think I know myself quite well, but theres alot to know tbh! I was made painfully insecure at a young age from school, my best mate being my worst enemy and always bullying me to make himself feel better was the main course. I have come through alot and come out of it alot , 6 months ago i wouldnt of even been able to talk about it, youve got to be fairly secure to talk about yourself deeply, i found that out! I am a cool guy but just dragged back alot by stuff. only thing i can do is keep hope and keep working towards my singing aspirations cos i dont think a volntary job is gonna make me happy somehow! why is it girls can be depressed and suicidal and still have partners but men have to be happy and issue free?
Well… that’s a part of the whole standard that confuses people. In terms of being radically sexist, it’s because girls can be taken advantage of when they are depressed and such and guys love it and blah blah… and guys have to be happy and issue free because they’re guys and they have no emotions blah blah.
Real terms, it’s more of because you don’t hear much of guys having severe emotional problems as much as you hear of it with girls. It’s expected for guys to be able to be secure and provide and all that; to have that steady ground. It’s expected for a woman to be dependent, so if she’s emotional, she just has to find someone to depend on in order to make herself feel a bit better. Plus women are supposed to be moody and depressed and yadda yadda.
It’s just the double standard thing. It really sucks.
Yeah it does suck, I have put alot of work in to pick myself up from a really low place and to get where I am now, but Im not sure how much the work i do can move me on to become ‘perfectly secure’ if you know what i mean. still just make yourself possitive and you cant go wrong
also if you have a lifetime of insecurity and rejection how are you suposed to be secure? you can make yourself to a certain degree but its a bit unfair really, it doesnt mean your not worthy. you see this is the problem with the world and with people, you get punished for negative things that go against you because people react negatively to negative. surely that means that person is infact negative?