In my Philosophy lesson today, a few of us somehow got onto the subject of suicide in hypothetical terms, we weren’t talking thoughts or anything, just methods and the practicalities of it; my friend said he thought jumping in front of a train would be the best way, but I think that’s too violent, too completely horrible for the people left behind. Anyway, we then discussed jumping from a high building and my teacher joined in, and he said something I’m finding difficult to forget.
He said that when people jump, in the spilt second as they fall, they realise everything: they realise every problem that lead them to jump in the first place can be solved, made bearable, or helped in some way, that the only problem they have with their life at that moment is the fact that it’s too late by then and is already over.
Whether this can be verified or not, I don’t know, but when he said it, something inside me clicked, like I had syuddenly understood something. And I can’t stop thinking about that, thinking about how when faced with death in such a forceful way, we might suddenly see our lives differently. It makes me question my suicidal thoughts as well- I am less depressed now but I still have those dark days more frequently than I’d like to have them- and wonder whether it’s really death I want, or just a solution to all of my problems. I just wanted to acknowledge that in a few words, my teacher changed my perspective on all of this and I thought maybe it would make others think as well, because not only is it fascinating, but it’s also somewhat comforting (to me, at least)
3 comments
Yes, in that split second as my life flashed before my eyes I would think I had gone too far this time. It’s irreversible.
Yes, i suppose actually walking out onto the edge of the building can be quite sobering. Thinking about suicide and preparing to kick the stool out from under yourself are two completely different things.
The reason people want to die is because they cannot cope with a situation, they feel trapped and they need a way out. That split second before they hit the ground they realise that they are actually about to lock the door on themselves forever, that they’ll never truely be free.
The sad thing is, if you cant cope with a situation, essentially it means they are faced with no other option or are not able to see one. which is why a change of scenery for the suicidal is more powerful than any antidepressant or peer motivation.