Why won’t my head shut up? Why is it all I think is “what’s wrong with me, why doesn’t anybody like me?” Nothing seems to distract me, nothing makes it better! I’ve been single for 3 years, have lost god knows how many friends because I’m always miserable, the only ones I’ve kept are long distance so they can out up with me on the brief moments of contact we have! No one wants me, no one likes me, and here I am, on a Friday night, sat alone wingding like normal! And I wonder why I’m alone! 🙁 I wish I could break this cycle, turn into a bubbly fun person that people want to be around, instead of this wingeing moaning miserable ***** 🙁 and I hate myself more for sitting here moaning and wingeing and shit for being this person!!! How did this happen?? How did I turn into this person 🙁 I hate this. I want to be different but I can’t change. I’m just too damn lazy. I’m too lazy for life! I’m wasting it, and there are people out there wishing they had longer – I wish I could trade it, give it to someone who wants a bit longer on this miserable planet. I sorely wish that were possible. Ugh, just writing this makes me feel worse. I suck 🙁
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Look i can’t let you keep posting these kinds of things, i mean you have four frowny faces in there, and not one smiley face. What gives you the right?
Humans are gregarious creatures, no one can exist happily without friendship forever, and those who do so for a short time only fool themselves into believing it wouldn’t be better with it. If your problem is laziness then your path is clear. Force yourself out of the shackles of indolence and be proactive. You’re not a bad person.
And btw:) 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
See, I’m that miserable! It’s not just laziness, it’s a severe lack of confidence and being terrified that ill go out, be made a fool of and feel like a complete idiot, or just shunned, which generally happens when I actually get out of the house! Hiding is easier, but the more I hide the more difficult it becomes to go out! :-/
Like i’ve told many others here, no one can get up while trying to hold themselves down. Be confident, if people don’t like you oh well, if they think you’re weird oh well, would you rather some people think silly things about you or sit in a a dark pool of depression for the rest of your life?
Try not to stay inside all day. Like you said, the longer you stay inside the harder it is to leave. Even if it’s something small try to get out and do something. Go for a walk or run some errands w.e. It’ll become easier and easier each time.
I do actually function normally, I have a job and try to go to the gym twice a week, but it’s the social side I can’t cope with. I hate going to the gym cause I’m the fatest girl there, and I just want to run home and hide, and its the same when I go out, which I don’t do very often, I sit in a corner and try to disappear. Though its not difficult cause the people I’ve been out with recently have all been far better looking than me so I get ignored anyway. Which just makes me want to go home and hide even more!
If the people you’re around ignore you merely because they don’t find you physically attractive; are they really people who’s attention you want? You can always lose weight, and it will probably give you some confidence, but you can also have confidence as you are now you know.
That was just the general public, the girl i went out with got hit on in every bar and i ended up sat on my own while she danced with the guy she pulled! And that’s another long running saga! I was pretty much raised to believe you can only be successful and happy if you’re thin, and I’m far from that! Is a difficult belief to break in today’s society. Which I guess just shows how weak-minded I am.
I’ve lost 6 months of the very few years of youth I still have left as a recluse in the darkness. Time that will never come back. Time in which others have loved and laughed. I withdrew from all of my friends, stopped using Facebook and even email. I have completely disappeared from everyone’s radar and, chances are when I get out of this cave, I will discover that I’ve lost them forever as some have gotten “hurt” from my sudden disappearance. Others just won’t care to remember. I feel like a loser and have chosen to be alone in my misery so no one pities me or rejects me for being a pain. But that’s just my story.
You are not that lazy if you manage to go to the gym. I am sure that the social issue you’re facing have their root in your brain and not in reality itself. Self-esteem is the secret to any kind of successful relationship. I also feel indescribably sad for not having a boyfriend in my life. I hope we get better soon to stop time from going into the garbage can.
Thanks black swan. I do too!
Twister, do you think theyre may be other factors, besides your size, that may make you feel down? I’ve seen plenty of women who are far from thin but seem to be comfortable in their own shoes, so to speak. I’m a middle aged guy, who is fairly slim, athletic, but find myself having lots of self esteem issues, even to this day because I attribute to my upbringing and hypersensitivity towards criticism.