I had a day. A date. It was planned. I knew how I was going to do it. I didn’t care. did never knew it was possible to feel so dead and empty and feel so much pain all at once. I didn’t know how much a few simple words could hurt. I didn’t know how good cutting felt. I just didn’t know. I don’t know how I got here, to this position. I look down and see the cold blade slide across my wrist.
I had a day. I didn’t care. I was hurting. Nothing else mattered. I needed a way out.
Then, I got a call from my best friend. She said how she was proud of me for changing, for coming that far. She told me it was hurting her too. I hurt her. I realised then that I couldn’t do it then. I shoved my pain further down, now it only affects me this much, not people around me. It kills me a little more everyday and everyday I want to die a little more. I don’t know how much longer I can do this.