Pretending has become a daily routine. Pretending to be happy, to be normal, to be me. When inside I’m breaking, shattering, cracking. Nobody knows me as the sad one. Everyone knows me as the one who makes everyone happy. If I’m not wearing a smile on my face people ask me what’s wrong. Maybe I just don’t want to wear that stupid fake smile anymore. Maybe I’m tired of making everyone else happy when I don’t have happiness. Maybe I’m so sick and tired of having to hold everyone else above water when I’m the one drowning. It’s so super hard being this person. The smart, good, happy girl. It’s hard being me and yet everyone says I have the perfect life, that I’m normal. If that were true why is this happening to me? None of them see the inside they see the outside and judge. I’m just so sick of it. Sick of having to tolerate being called normal because that’s the fake me. I’m dying inside.
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i have felt like you for so long, i would walk around school pretending to be happy just so no one would ask any questions, and if i ever slipped and seemed sad people would always ask me whats wrong so i had to make up a lie and tell them that i was just sleepy. It sucked so much to pretend to be a happy person, i hated how everyone thought i was so happy all the time, i just wanted to tell them all to go fuck off, i know what you are going through, and im sorry for you, if you need to vent, feel free, i’ll be here to listen