I feel the void inside of me.

It never seems to cease. Is love too much to ask for?
Today my little brother cussed me out. I know I sound so selfish right now… but I got mad. Wanted to hit him. Really, really badly. I didn’t, but I’m an open book. My mom wanted to know what was going on, but I knew better. Every time we have a “talk”, it always ends with her yelling at me and both of us getting mad, except I have no outlet. She used to hit me when I was younger. I can’t talk back, or she’ll hit me more. Every single time she threatens to get a divorce, and every time I believe her. I don’t want to have to live with my dad, who leers at me and treats me as if I’m five. I wish the years would pass faster so I could leave for college or join the army even though I’m not very fit. Anything to get out of here. I know this is so selfish; other people have it worse than me. But I feel so trapped right now. When it’s quiet, I can hear her yelling at me; when I’m home alone, sleeping, doing homework. I hate it. I want to talk to someone, but no one cares. Isn’t this a pitiful world? All of us wanting love, but none of us getting any.
I want to kill myself, but I don’t want to be another statistic. I keep hoping to power through this shit, and be ‘strong’ but I don’t know if I can anymore. Of course, I’m too chicken to do the job myself. Someday the void will get so big it will swallow me, and there will be nothing left.
I seem normal on the outside, trying to keep positive, but it’s getting weaker and weaker. The void wants more. And there’s no fighting it.