I can’t Imean idk if I will makeitthroughtheday let alonr the year. thethought of dying and slicing and the sweet release ofletting my death intheair cslms me. like if I could just let the pain go. My heart hurts so bad. if I makeit I’m done. caring andletting peoplein just sotheycan pull out everything good inside of me and take and when they are done just piss on it. I did feel happiness I felt my heart warm and my soul asmilr. I shouldhaveknownthen thst it eiukdnt last I smiled to much and was just to happy.
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You can. Those people are not worth of letting in, people who really care won’t hurt you nor suck the good out of you. And I feel that too. I’m scared to be happy because I think that we have to pay every moment of that happiness by being in pain. But maybe you could find a way to make it? For a little longer still?
i always knew when i was happiest something bad ould happen. another shoe would drop. i still dont know if i will make it through the dy. his vice haunts me he mell lgers in my nose my bed my heart. he is everywhere i ffeel him everywhere ndn nowhere cause he is not here, he is not heare he is not here. i gave him my heart and my soul and everything that is me. and it didnt matter because finally i opened myself and he through it and pissed o it and it didnt matter. it didnt mtter i was faithful and honest and caring and sweet bc he still left. i pored my hart out tyo him and e still left. i let him in. i was finally ok with never being loved and wanted but he showed me thse things so i wanted them and then he left. i never mattered. the other shoe dropped