Hi everyone, I am a 23 year old girl living in Cali.
I have been depressed for quite a long time and last year I went to the doctor and I have been taking Citalopram since then. However, I still feel like I have the depressive symptoms, I am always tired of life, bored of life, I feel lonely all the time, want to sleep and be in the bed and not get up. It’s like living and breathing is very hard for me. I have suicidal thoughts for a long time, I always thought as I get older my life would get better and everything would change, but no it’s all the same. I don’t want to live like this for the rest of my life, as a young person I feel like I don’t enjoy my life, so I will never enjoy it when I get old.I just want everything with me to be over, and I want to sleep forever.
please reply
10 comments
Hello, although I’m a couple years younger(I’m a girl too), I can totally relate. Ever since I graduated high school, I’ve felt like I’m waiting for things to brighten up or get better and they haven’t. My stomach is constantly clenched and it feels like someone’s choking me from the inside 24/7. If you want to talk about what’s bothering you, I could give you my screen name.
Have u been back to your doctor and told him the medication doesn’t seem to be helping your depression and that you are having suicidal thoughts?
I agree with LMA. Antidepressants aren’t all the same, some work for some but not for others, you may have to try a few before one works. Also, usually they recommend counselling in combination with medication, I strongly suggest you give that a try, do mention that to you doctor.
Counselling can be painful and awkward at first, but it really helps. When I was depressed as a teenager and young adult (I am 45 years old now) it really turned things around, and I was happy for a long time after that. Then other things happened and I went downhill again, but that’s a different story.
Your life and your happiness are too important to not try all the help available!
Exercise works better than drugs. Look it up if you don’t believe this random stranger. Join a health club and be around people. Take an aerobics class. Swim laps. Bike and learn how to use the weight machines. Ask that cute guy to show you how. Spend as much time there as you can. Another way to boost your mood is to stop eating animal products and sugar/HFCS/aspartame. Eat a McDougall vegan diet and feel better and get a new and improved body in no time. Go to the library and check out some motivational tapes. Let that be your addiction. You live in CA for Christ’s sake. Get lots of sunshine every day on as much of your skin as possible. But above all else exercise, exercise, exercise. Your life will change for the better.
hey guys thanks for all the responds. I really appreciate it.
Emmer thanks YES it would be nice if you give me your screen name and chat, but I don’t exactly know how to work with this site.
LMA, No I haven’t been back to my physician for a long time, and I am always scared to tell people that I have suicidal thoughts, you guys are the first ones besides my mother.
abuse survivor, you are right about counseling, but I don’t want people know about my pain!!!! I don’t tell anybody, if you see me I am a very happy, social girl, but inside someone else. it’s just hard.
dead wannabe, I go to the gym for 2 times a week or more sometimes, and you are right after exercising I feel better for a while. my mom tells tells me the same, to exercise, and take my pills (citalopram).
Well I have Aol instant messaging, do you? If you don’t, I could give you my email address.
I don’t have Aol instant messaging. messaging through email is better.
mine is : elnazsa@yahoo.com
well elnazsa i think you are doing thing good great for you
Dont be scared to tell the doctor or anyone for that matter how u are feeling and about your suicidal thoughts. You shouldn’t have to hide behind a false smile. You might have to try different things whether it be medication, theraphy, exercise, whatever. You deserve every chance to get help that u need to turn your life around…and please just keep trying and confiding in people so that u have plenty of support to help u through this.
I wish all the best for u XXX
thank LMA 🙂 well I went therapy once, and I am just too ashamed to tell any body who knows me about my inside pains.
but now I am kinda fine with medications, except for sometimes that gets worse mostly at night.