I would do anything to kill myself.
It’s not that I don’t have the guts, but I can’t do that to my family.
I’ve tried before..and lets just say, our insurance didn’t pay for it, so it cost them a couple grand in hospital bills.
My parents don’t have that kind of money to spend. In fact, they don’t have money, period.
Raising four kids is tough enough, but when two of them our in collage? They own a small business, but with the economy being so bad, they’re lucky if they get two or three paying customers a day.
So if I did die, you know how much that would cost them?
Funeral bills and all of that? They cannot afford that.
When I tried to talk about how I felt about with my sister, she told me that she thinks people who commit suicide are selfish, and only thinking about themselves. I don’t want to be like that.
When I did attempt suicide, my brother sent me a long hateful text message telling me I was a selfish **** and I just wanted attention and so much more.
It just seems like, the only thing I can do to end my depression, I can’t do! I cut myself frequently to get a little glimpse of suicide.
I can’t only think about myself. I must think of others. I feel like no one understands me.
4 comments
I go through the same thing everyday. my family are extremely religious and they force their view on suicide as the most selfish act one can do and it’s an automatic ticket to hell. But what’s more selfish than ignoring someone who needs helps and going about your day, more specifically someone you love? I tried hanging myself multiple times, smothering myself, and nothing has worked for me. The only time I felt free was when let my soul just rise out of my body through mediation and see my world from a different view. That has helped me cope with the pain I’ve been going through these past years, and maybe it’ll help you too.
I have heard that too, that people who want to commit suicide are selfish because they don’t know what thier parents would go through after thier death. but I think people who are depressed to the point that want to take tier lives are so lost and so sick of life that don’t even think about being selfish.
suicide is not selfish unless you are doing it to punish someone to see how they feel afterwards or something like that but if you are living in an unbearable pain day after day and all you want is some peace its everyone else who is selfish for tryin to keep you here in that misery just so they wont be sad for a few weeks.
I totally understand.
I need to go too, but I just can’t do it because I feel it’s being selfish to the people that ‘care’ about me here.
I’m so sorry that you didn’t accomplish it the first time. It must be painful to have to live this miserable life. Email me if you ever need to vent, trust me, I’ll still be around. inuyashagurl1@hotmail.com