you just have to say “fuck it, I wanna be happy.”
Life is Shit at the moment, life is a journey.
You stepped in a pile of shit ok?
When you do that in real life, what really happens?
For the next ten miles do you think about that pile of shit you stepped in?
Do you see piles of shit on the road ahed and steer yourself right into them?
No? So why do it mentally?
Sure, your foot may stink because of the residual shit, but the initial impact is back there man, leave your bad feelings about the shit back there.
Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? How about laughed when something bad happened?
It’s because laughing and crying are really close to the same reaction. Beneath the veil of intent lies the same passion, the same emotion. It’s where you consciously direct it.
A friend told me that just the other day, and it made me realize something terrifyingly beautiful.
If that is true, then that means that Fear and Love………………………….oh my god.
Yes, Fear and Love contradictory to what Donnie Darko believes, do rule your life. There are more emotions yes, but all other emotions stem from those.
Henceforth, fear and love both stem from the same place. It’s the same passion, like before, just more basic, to the core.
I deal with thoughts of suicide every day.
I have a feeling, from a clinical psychological perspective, that my amygdala has been trained to issue the response “I wanna die” every time an unpleasant thought occurs. It really sucks man, I just fine sitting in class one minute, then I remember a bad time and automatically “I wanna die.” There’s really almost nothing I can do about it. I suspect a really intensive deep meditation session that lasted for several days would be the only way I could really do enough through rewiring of my brain. But enough about me.
5 comments
Hey sand_dude,
Your last paragraph had me in stitches.
You’re beautiful and you write beautifully.
The thing is, there is shit and piles of shit, and so we try and wind our way about trying to avoid them. We’re not perfect, we’re not gifted with supernatural foresight, we can’t even predict tomorrow or tonight. Our control HQ – well we can become aware of our thoughts. We can accept x is shit, and that without the ability of time travel, x remains shit. So, x is past, history. We’re here at a different point in time, a different day, a different present. What I can change about x, is my thoughts about x. So x is shit. I accept that. But I am not x, and therefore I am not shit. So I refuse to feel shit. It’s a form of mental playtherapy 🙂
Absolutely.
Consumed by fear and love, how does one move forward? What of the paradox of fearing love?
I spent most of today crying. I saw a lizard on a footpath. I got really close and it didn’t move. I touched it and it jumped and slithered away. It’s action made me laugh. It was more like a nervous empathetic reaction. I don’t think it have any emotional catalyst.
i just really love this post. you’re right. i agree. amazing. let us all be happy! ahh this is brilliant.
Isn’t it more about fearing the “other”? Fearing what the other (world, other person, etc) thinks, will think, react, respond, etc. and then been afraid of been rejected, not liked, not wanted, not cared for, not heard, not seen…
Then love is about honouring wills that are not ours or ours to control. Love is about being oneself, rags and all, and offering our being to others where we can do good for them. And they don’t even have to appreciate it. We just do it, because we no longer depend on the opinions of 6 billion mortals, who disagree anyways on everything.
Today, I saw a beaut of a butterfly outside, and at one point it came and fluttered about my face. That was nice.
Why were you crying one_day?
I’m glad you guys liked it.
It really does make me feel better to know someone hears me.
You guys are also quite enlightened beings. 🙂
There’s this buddhist proverb, I think it comes from the Zen tradition:
“Student goes to the master and says ‘I am discouraged. What do I do?
master says ‘ Encourage others'”
So that’s what I try to do. 🙂