i was talking to a friend… for some weird reason comparing any situations to other situations that brought pain no matter the lentgh of the pain is not good at all. well i never talked about suicide to her and she is frightened because her nephiew attempted it and didnt succeed, so she came tell me that and that people have it harder than me. it sounded to me like “what are you crying about girl?” luckily she didnt see my face, we were typing…
really people what am i crying about? a life that doesnt make sense, PTSD from abuse, the loss of a man i loved more than life, an emptiness without end, disappointment over disappointment, no hope for Humanity. Im sure i could see more of the darkness i already feel inside me. but why would i want that?Â
4 comments
Sorry to hear that your friend was inconsiderate of your feelings. Maybe she doesn’t know about the hardships that you’ve gone through?
Thank you Dave, I just dont blame people they cant see very far… i also cant blame her as she doesnt know about my suicidal thoughts and planning. i cant blame her for feeling the pain her sisters enduring and the feeling of loss.
But, man…, i wish people would think before they say whatever its coming to their minds… you never know whats behind that person. like losing someone wasnt enough or being abused by the ex boyfriend or anything. Its like my pain suddenly is worthless, meaningless. Seems im just suffering because i want to.
Seriously?
So true. Just because there is pain and suffering in the world doesn’t mean you should have to somehow justify your feelings. I am a survivor with PTSD, too, and I totally get what you are saying.
Lost Margaret, youre right, there cant be a comparison to the extent of pain or suffering someone is feeling… the whole point is: the person is in pain. how worse it can get its not up to any of us to judge.
Pain is pain, its that simple…its a mistake to compare!