the matter of this situation…

I hate it when I’m in the middle of telling a story or discussing my theory about my life and my beliefs, someone comments about how prayer and religion will help me. Being a christian myself I do believe that there is a god, however (as ironic as it seems) we were all probably put here for a reason and who ever knew what it was. Most christains are hypocrits and believe that everything one does will se you to hell especially being gay or killing yourself. My mom tells me this every day. she thinks that i want to possibly kill myself be cause she saw that i had cut myself. even then she pulled  me up to her bathroom counter and doused the wound with alcohol, and asked me if i wanted her to send me to charter lake, the crazy people hospital. she critisizes the way i dress, my hair, and especially the music that i listen to, she says its just evil and asked me if i needed an excorcism and to doused in holy oil/water. everyday she tells me that i will go straight to hell if i kill myself. the thing that she doesnt know is that i think about it every day.