I decided that I like Trevor. But then, last night, I had a dream. A dream that Dawson was in. Dawson is one of my best friends. He’s also a guy. And I think I like him… But I don’t know. It’d be a little bit weird because he’s shorter than I am… And yet he’s older than me…. And every time I think about it, I feel like I would be dating my brother if I dated him. Okay, so I’m going to make a complete list of the guys that I like or have ever liked this year. (Prepare for a lot. I had to think about someone else after Trevor got a girlfriend).
Okay, first guy I liked: Drew. I liked him last year, and I carried my crush over to this year.
Then, I saw Trevor. And I forgot all about Drew.
Then Gabby ( a girl that also liked him) said that he didn’t like me. So I found a new guy. His name is Brendan.
So, I had a nice crush for a little while, but then Bailey had to text him telling him that I like him. He said I’m not his type.
Soo, I didn’t really want to date anyone that wasn’t in Band. I mean, I would, I just had a thing for guys in Band. So the next guy I liked was Jacob, one of Trevor’s best friends.
That didn’t last long. A few days. (By the way, I still like all of these guys except for Drew). Anyway, then I liked Tennyson. He was sweet, and more like me than any of the rest of them. Nope, didn’t last long.
Then, I liked Matt. His eyes were the bluest blue I had ever seen. And I thought he liked me. Apparently not.
So then, I just decided to chill out for a while. But then I had to sit by Garrett, and I kinda like him. I mean, I like him kinda like I like Dawson. I’m not exactly sure about it.
So, I have to admit that I still like all of these guys. Matt was kind of a jerk, though. So I don’t exactly like him. Or Drew. I just.. I really like Trevor. If you asked for my top two, I would say Trevor and Brendan. But they both freaking have girlfriends! And Bailey likes them both. Well, whatever. She has a boyfriend, and if she wanted to go out with one of them, she shoulda told me before I liked them. Honestly, I”m sick of sitting here worrying about this. It’s just stupid. I found strength to go on. I’ve found peace enough to not think about the pain constantly. I feel stronger than I ever have before. I feel like I can do anything, like I can deal with anything. I’ll continue to post about how my life goes, though. I may fall again, but I don’t feel like I will. I will post on here to let you guys know how I’m doing. It’s like my therapy. Instead of having to go to a psychiatrist, I can just ask for help on here. I’ll let you know how my day goes. Maybe I should still like Dawson and see how it goes… I don’t know. I’m just gonna like the guys I like and be me. I’m the only person I would ever want to be. So I just want to say thank you, guys, for helping me to where I am today. I wouldn’t have done it without you. 😀