I posted a post about how life gets better, and other things. Well, I guess my life got a lot worse :/ a couple nights ago, I felt like I was completely alone in the world, and nobody fully understood how I felt.. I told my friend about it but it seems like she completely blew me off 🙁 I texted a bunch of other people but they didn’t text back.. Even if I said” Hey, I need your help :(”. It’s like they didn’t even care. Maybe I’m over-reacting, but I don’t think I am. I don’t think I have any hope. Or any true friends. I’ve recently started getting made fun of at school, I got called the C word a couple days ago because I wouldn’t share my answers to a test with this preppy kid. And then I got called emo twice in under 15 seconds, literally. That hurt a lot. Then, last but not least….. this girl came up to me and said” cut it with a razor, that seems to be your thing” :// it really pisses me off when preppy people judge other people who cut/use to cut because they don’t know how it feels, but yet they still judge. Cutting is NOTHING to laugh about, it’s a serious problem.
Everyone looks to me to handle their problems, and I usually suck it up and give them my best advice, and when I do that I feel like I’m a hypocrite, because why should I tell someone advice when I can’t listen to it myself? I can’t handle my problems at all. Not one bit. And I hate that feeling, knowing that when something happens to me, I’m not strong enough to fight back. But over the past week or so, I’ve truly realized that the more you give in to the thing you’re dealing with, the worse it gets. Now that might sound a little bit scary, but it gives you something to truly fight for! I saw myself through the pain, and suffering, and now I’m fine. For now at least.
All my friends/family, etc, think I’m fine. But I’m really not. I feel like I’m dying on the inside, and outside. I feel like I’m a little girl inside of a teenager, screaming to get out. 2 nights ago, I was laying in bed, begging the Lord to take me. I wanted to go that much. I told my friend that, and she replied” It’s not your time to go! I don’t want you to go” but my question is, if she really cared, why did she ignore me for so long?
I’m not nearly as strong enough that I have to be to fight problems in life, and I’m terrified that someday, it will get so bad, that I’ll take my own life. All I’m asking you is, please, please, PLEASE, help me </3
5 comments
ok i am hear to help you can email me if you want
many try to understand lifes purpose. some pursue this thought so greatly, they completely miss it. dont be one of those people, enjoy what life has to offer, no matter how small that may be.
I understand what you mean. When you’re emotionally in pain and everyone is just not there. It hurts. So bad. To know that the one person you counted on, isn’t dependable. I know someone who is always there, no matter what. Jesus Christ. He will ALWAYS be there for you. I think of all the times I prayed for God to let me die. He told me, “you are too valuable to die. I love you with all of my heart. I will not give up on you so easily.”
And I totally get you when you say everyone comes to you with problems. People come to me a lot but never really ask about my situation.. It sucks. But God is fixing that for me. He’s bringing better people into my life. And I’m getting better as we speak.
I remember walking around school smiling and giggling my head off. Then coming home crying and didn’t know why. I had this empty feeling. Until I found Jesus Christ. He fills in all of my emptiness. And He can do the exact same thing to you. If you allow Him to. Your life is so so dear and precious. Don’t take your life because you have a destiny and your life has very much meaning.
Please don’t leave. you can email me, also. those preppy bitches don’t know anything about you, so please dont let them put you down.
I’m the same way around my friends. I don’t think I should be giving them advice either when I’m so bad at taking advice for myself.
Like lifeisbuitiful said, I’d be smiling at school and then come home and just cry. Cry because nobody noticed the pain I was going through and nobody honestly seemed to care.
Email me dear if you need somebody to talk to. I know it’s not much, but I’m also here to support you. Here’s my email: inuyashagurl1@hotmail.com