i feel hopeless and helpless im sure im not the only one but id like to share some of my thoughts and wonders with you im 15 and ill be 16 in august but i dont even know if i can make it to that point.. iv been admitted to the hospital 3 times and it will help for a bit but when out of nowhere you leave and dont have that every day safe feeling that you know you can talk to everyone around you you slowly start breaking down back the the point that brought you there. but this time they wouldn’t admit me i have no idea why i feel that im the worst i have ever been i wake up multiple times through out the night just wondering why im not dead yet and wishing i was .. sometimes i feel like the most tired person on earth but there may be people that have it worse im just trying to say for me this is alot i want to so bad every kill myself because i just cant handle it i really cant the only thing stopping me is that i have no idea what my sister would do after im gone she has a baby to look after .. i honestly wish i was an only child it would it so much easier but i love her i just really need this life to end and i know its not the end my depression and anxiety is genetic it not just going to magically go away but my paranoia is bad im afraid it may be getting worse by the day ……. its like when someone is in allot of pain taking multiple pills everyday just keep them alive but some of them just want to let go they don’t want to have to go through the pain every day and they don’t want to have to take multiple pills everyday to make them happy and keep them alive that’s what if feels like you just want to let go you don’t want to hurt anyone you just need to let go
that all for now i will keep myself posted but my ending question for today is what dose your depression feel like (in detail please) could feel like drowning or being stuck in a night mare
2 comments
Hmm yeah I feel tireless hopeless and helpless as well. I guess I feel lonely too. There’s an open secret about our future that I accept, but it’s not something that’s polite to discuss. Basically I accept and agree with what’s called the standard run results of the World3 model.
The results show a peak supply of non renewable resources within about 10 years, peak population at 8 billion people 20 years from now and then a gradual return to normal population, somewhere between 1-2 billion people. So it’s a 75% die off and average life expectancy would go from 80 years today to about 25 years in the year 2100.
I don’t have kids and I’m single but I’m 41 in my 3rd phase of life. In the first phase it was the 70s I believed in a shiny Jetson like future. 2nd phase I understood half the people in the world are poor and starving no electricity no running water. So the Jetson fantasy was infeasible but maybe I could raise a family.
As I learned the big picture became clear for me. If I had children they would certainly be miserable. None of the headlines matter. Economics matters a little, but overpopulation denial of our consequences and over consumption are so powerful. They guaruntee an unspeakable reality that is almost too bizarre to accept. There’s no one I can talk to about this, so I am a bit lonely.
I understand both of you. I’ve been at a low point for 6 months now. One after another and I’m just 23. I gave up on happiness and love after searching and failing many times. Next phase for me, heaven. It’s sad to say not all of us are meant to be happy. And it’s correct, in the future, life will be harder to live. The world is going to be a very miserable place to live for not just me but for my would be children. I think it would be selfish forms to bring life into his world. I can probably gloat that I have no children because I am young now but I’ll say that I love my unborn would be children so much that I will get a vicsectmy or where condoms so I can spare them the misery that they will expirence once theyre born. Just like everyone on this earth, no one asks to be born, but a lot ask to be dead.