Sad and Broken

I am broken in every way, physically and mentally.  My life sucks.  I want to be free from my anguish and torment, although this might mean death.  In life, I have had nothing but pain and suffering.  I am annoyed I didn’t end it all when I was 7.   Now, I’m middle-aged (ugh).  All that suffering, torment and pain could have been avoided had I disappeared from the world.  Now is too late since I can’t seem to be able to go through with it anymore.   All I’ve ever wanted was to have peace and happiness.  Why is that something I cannot have?

Why did all these things have to happen to me, and why’d I have to suffer (and still suffering) so much?  It’s not fair all the shit I had to go through, and still am going through, while the majority of the world goes on to their happy little lives.  Fuck all the happy people who’ve had everything handed to them.