So I’ve been cutting for almost a year now and about two months in my parents saw my wrist. I couldn’t stop cutting after they found out so I started cutting in places they couldn’t see (chest and thighs). I guess I got carried away because a few weeks ago I wore a tank top that was a bit low and they saw the scars…
Instead of getting sad and being supportive like a normal parent, they got extremely angry. They began screaming at me, telling me what a screw up I was, how bad parents I made them seem. I didn’t really care because they tell me that on the daily basis, but what comment really got to me was…they said everyone who saw the scars would think I was a freak. That I shouldn’t be alive. That I was weak.
That comment has been corrupting my thoughts since they said it…
I can’t help but think its true. Before I didn’t care if people saw my scars, but now I go out of my way to hide them. Even though my friends have been nothing but supportive, it feels like their lying and they secretly think what my parents said.
Aren’t parents supposed to help you?
7 comments
Sometimes, like any of us, parents just don’t have the answers. They don’t know what to say, how to respond, or what to do. The end result is a response based upon emotion and panic. The scars and cutting have probably scared them and they probably never expected such a situation. I’m not defending their actions… Rather, I’m trying to explain them.
Perhaps they’ll talk among themselves, reach out to family and others, and arrive at a good strategy. One good idea would be to get some assistance for you… maybe someone to speak with so you can find an alternate to cutting. You’re not a freak. Not in the slightest.
Thank you. But they actually have been through this situation before…my older sister use cut. They said nothing of the sort to her.
Parents are human beings too, which means that they sometimes spew incredibly stupid, insensitive drivel. What they said isn’t any more true than if you were to call them sociopathic monkeys that escaped from a lab.
It makes me so sad to hear when parents aren’t supportive of their own children. I’ve dealt with it first hand and seen many of my friends be belittled for self harm. My parents are unaware that I cut, but I have been threatened many different times of being thrown in a psych ward if they ever saw cuts on me. I don’t think any child should feel ashamed around their parents; I don’t mean to offend you or anyone but it sounds like your parents are the weak ones for not helping you by giving unending love and support. And that.road is completely right, you’re not a freak; you’re extremely beautiful and NO ONE should make you believe otherwise.
When they don’t know how to help you turn out as they expect, they get angry, and may blame you.
But, as disturbing as it may be, they are partially correct. Not everyone functions on a higher “empathic” level, not everyone understands that people have problems, not everyone understands that sometimes people with problems can get through them and have decent lives. Some people see any “red flags” and sprint the other direction… because they think you are “flawed” or “scary.”
Intelligent people will probably be less likely to judge you based on your scars or your mistakes. “Lemmings” may indeed do exactly that. And since “most people are stupid,” you may encounter quite a lot of resistance and disapproval in life, based purely on problems in the past, which left the scars that remain.
I don’t think it’s “right” for those primitive people to judge you for those scars… but it will happen, so be prepared. That’s part of why your parents would freak out at you about such things. They’re worried about how your social interactions will be impacted. But they might not be able to verbalize their concerns adequately, and it may manifest as “insulting,” as you have described.
When my mum catch my sister cutting herself, she snapped out and yelled and screamed and was very angry, pointing fingers and told my sis that she’s not normal and she need sto stop it, but much later she just told she was very worried and upset about the situation and she wasn’t meaning any bad, she was just afraid of loosing her.
I’d like to think that your parents just didn’t know how to deal with just a thing and got very upset, becouse when people face something scary and shocking they usually get angry. I don’t think your parents meant to hurt your feelings!
What comes to your friends, I think that they care about you and they are not lying when they support you. I understand your tinkings, but you must trust your friends.. maybe you should talk about this with them, or some of them and tell what you fear? I’m sure they will understand!
Please stop cutting yourself, it hurts your beautiful body and even though you might think it helps, it won’t ease your pain endlesly… please stop before it comes any further :c We are here to support you too dear.
Hi,
I know how this feels to some degree, when I was super open about my suicidal thoughts, because I wanted help, nothing ever came of it. My parents looked like they were doing the right thing by sending me to get medicine, but they never let me take it. I’m in therapy now, which is all right, but me being a guy and all, it is tough to talk about my emotions.
I do understand the unsupportive parents thing. It’s tough, but I just had to deal with it on my own terms. If your friends secretly think you are a freak but are not telling you, thoes people don’t sound like people you should care too much about. You are not a freak, like some say, this I hope you will see.
If you’re ever needing someone, my email is below.
brl.cents@gmail.com