I feel like I’m drowning, I’m screaming for help but there’s no one there to save me. I feel worthless, useless, unloved. I feel totally alone. I feel there’s no hope for me now. In the space of 4 weeks I have lost everything. My partner of 12 years had a breakdown of his own…. well that’s what I am assuming, he was paranoid, angry all the time, saying crazy things and acting crazy, so I suggested he take a night away to have some space. He got out of the car and said ” see you tomorrow ” and I haven’t seen him since. He left me with no money (we have 2 kids together) he won’t see me, he talks to me for maybe 5 mins each day on the phone but he won’t give me a straight answer on if we are over or not. He feels like everyone is out to get him here where we live, he refuses to come home, but then when I try to clarify with him that we are over he tells me that is not what he is saying.
I cant eat or sleep, I asked for time off from work, they gave it to me and then replaced me so now I have no job to go back to. Im barely able to look after my kids. I cry all the time. I feel like my life has been ripped apart and don’t see how it can ever be fixed. The rational part of me knows things won’t always be like this, but while I am in this nightmare it feels there is no way out. I think about suicide everyday, I want so badly for this pain I am in to go away, but then I think about not seeing my kids grow up and that breaks my heart. So it feels like I have to stay in this torment.
I’m lost without my partner, I love him with all my heart. I feel like I can’t live without him. I DONT want to live without him.
1 comment
You just have to wait