I can’t stand the pain I am in any longer. Doctors and social workers tell me to be strong, focus on what I have rather than what I have lost. I’ve tried, it doesn’t work, I can’t do it. How can I focus on my kids when I know I am wrong for them? I can’t give them what they need and deserve. I had a family…. not perfect but we were a unit, I knew my role, I knew what to expect each day…. I had a job, I had a home, I had someone who loved me and now it’s all gone. Ripped away from me with no warning, no explanation. Treated like some rubbish that gets thrown away. How am I supposed to get over that?
It hurts to be alive. I’m exhausted, I can’t sleep or eat, I can’t function. There’s no way out of this for me. I have 1 option, it breaks my heart to know I won’t see my kids grow up, but I can’t watch them being taken away from me. I can’t lose them too. They deserve better than me.
4 comments
Don’t leave them, you’re never going to forget whats happened but you can grow. You are important to your kids, as they are to you. Live. You can get through it, because you have obviously been strong and you can continue to do so. Everyday you are alive you are stronger than yesterday and tommorrow you will be stronger than today. If you need someone to talk to give me a message <3
“It hurts to be alive. I’m exhausted, I can’t
sleep or eat, I can’t function”…. That’s basically how I’ve been feeling too.. But you said that you have kids.. So I hope that you can go thru it and survive; get better…
I dont have any advices… All I have is this comment, and I’m sorry.
I really wish that you can live.
Dear BrokenAngel!
I read your previous post, and I really feel for you.
Please try to reply to this question: what are the chances that your partner has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Maybe I’m wrong, as I don’t know more about the situation that you told here, but his behaviour shows the exact symptoms of it.
Here’s a site where you can read more on this personality disorder: (delete the spaces from the link)
psychcentral . com / disorders / narcissistic-personality-disorder-symptoms/
Once I also had a man like that, and it took for me for years to understand his unexplainable behaviour. But when I finally found out it, I could recover from the pain he caused me.
Thank you everyone who replied. I’m trying so hard to see a way through this. He actually called the social worker…. worried about my mental state! I wouldn’t be in this state if it were not for him!…. who then called my doctor and got me to go see her. I’m being refered to the crisis team. Talking won’t help, nothing will. I can talk and talk but it won’t change what’s happened.
Hella I looked at that site and you could be right, some of those symptoms fit him.
So for now I’m just waiting by the phone for the crisis team to call me, hoping he’ll call and give me the answers I need, able me to survive, but I know it’s pointless to wish for that.