Imagine that tonight as you slept a wicked spirit came by and put a curse on you. When you wake in the morning, you will have down syndrome. In fact, you will spend the rest of your life, the next forty years, with down syndrome. Would you kill yourself?
That’s how I feel every day. I was cursed in the womb, not down syndrome but something pretty close (I use the condition down syndrome here because its something people are familiar with). My options are to live with “down syndrome” or to kill myself. And believe me, I’d rather be dead.
I know it’s not politically correct these days to say that people “suffer” from down syndrome or other genetic defects. You’re supposed to pretend we have full, happy, rich, satisfying lives. But a full life is not possible with these conditions, not even remotely, and people who make it a crime to call such conditions “suffering” and “afflictions” are absolute bastards, worthless demons. It’s people like that whom I wish I could personally afflict with down syndrome so they might have to experience suffering, confusion and degrading humiliation 24/7, permanently.
6 comments
You’ve been through a lot, rach. I commend your ability to survive for this long, however you did it.
All that I know is that people would certainly laugh at me for having Down syndrome. One doesn’t even need Down syndrome to be laughed at, however. People sometimes make fun of me for my hair, how I walk, etc. Luckily, however, I am not able to give a shit, for I can change most of my appearance with ease.
With a permanent defect, however, life wouldn’t be fun at all. I also hate Hollywood for not being real in terms of people with such defects.
I’m thinking of killing myself and I don’t have “Down Syndrome”. I think, well.. when I read this I thought of fat people. If you think about it, fat people, are considered deformed and “useless” or “worthless”. I’m sure if they had the will– they’d kill themselves. Oh, yeah, I’m fat… 😛 But, at least my face is pretty, but such a waste with a waist like mine.
@ quotheraven,
If you have a nice face then all you have to do is get in shape. A good body is not that hard to get-I mean you do have to work very hard at it, expect to dedicate at least 6 mths to a year, but anyone can get a good body.
A good face only comes with lucky genetics. Most people have ugly or average faces. Mine only looks good when I’m in good shape, but right now I’m fat. I used to be fit and plan to get back to it but it’s very difficult with my busy life.
Don’t let your pretty face go to waste-trust me, good looks are a valuable resource, take advantage of it while you still can.
@ rach,
Well I don’t want to give you any wrong advice-everyone must decide for themselves what is right or not.
However if I had downs syndrome or some physical disfigurement that couldn’t be fixed, then I would definitely kill myself.
Life is hard enough being ‘normal’ and able-bodied. Adding some disability on top would be just too much crap for me to put up with.
What’s the point of living if all you do is watch others live great lives but never get live well yourself?
I’m angry at my idiot parents for having kids/myself…but if I wasn’t around, then the people I’ve helped would’ve ended up in terrible places, so at least I was able to do something for others.
However I am overall not happy with my life. There has been too much suffering and too little enjoyment for me. I’m trying to make the best of my meagre situation for now but if by the time I am in my 50s (I’m in my early 40s now) and things don’t improve for me, then I’ll definitely find a way to end it.
Down syndrome is a really bad example. They are generally happy and optimistic. One of the best people I know on this earth has down syndrome and yes he suffers, their bodies are just not just right and they have a lot of health issues…but you will NEVER find a person with downs complaining about it. I don’t mean to seem argumentative, but I had to say something. There is no valid comparison.
@alreadygone…as I said, my genetic condition is very very similar with down syndrome. It is a misconception that people with down syndrome are happy. I used to be smiling and laughing all the time when I was younger. This is b/c I had no self awareness at all and the smiling and laughing came as some kind of weird brain response thing. It really had nothing to do with how I felt inside. On the inside i always wished I was dead. And moreso and moreso as I found out that I was different to normal people and would never be able to achieve normality. I can only assure you, people with down syndrome and other genetic defects that inhibit the brains functioning aren’t actually happy in spite of appearing to be so. They are not self aware. They’d risk everything, death, anything, to be cured.