I see what’s coming. I know what will happen. And i know i will do everything to avoid it and still it will happen. That’s the impact of her words (my mom’s). Or does she see through my soul?
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If you don’t mind me asking, what were her words? My mother was extremely verbally abusive when I was growing up, until one stay I realized it was nothing more than her expressing her pain. I confronted her with this, and she actually opened up. Our relationship did a complete 180. Sometimes we hurt others, because pain we feel is so deep, that we selfishly force others to feel our pain too.
I understand a part of your problem. Same applies to me. I wanna avoid the inevitable but I guess we can’t. And sure the words of our parents has an impact on us.
Nothing is inevitable.
This is “fatalism” in every sense. Circular, no? There is no hope, everything ends in death. The question is only when. It is so logical. The framing of the question is so horribly cruel in its seeming truth. Yet it is not the truth.
The truth is that you have a choice. At this point it may seem that the choice is limited to now or later. This is an extremely closed view, a vise. But even within this view there is a possibility for the intervention of independent occurrences that might alter the trajectory of things.
Fatalism carries this one satisfaction. That nothing is required of you; no responsibility. All you have to do is wait and suffer a living death. Yet this is insufferable. It drives us to impulsive acts, as we have seen.
The problem is that the impulsive act is a choice and beyond all dispute. While secretly hoping for another to kill, the waiting makes us weary and we consider committing the act on behalf of the world that will torture but not kill. By doing this, we hope to shorten the suffering and deny the evil world its triumph.
Like Bill W. it requires a spiritual awakening. Is this ok? The acknowledgment of a higher power. I can’t, but He will if I let Him. This is the age old means of letting go fatalism in favor of Life.
G.W.