Nightmare in Reality

Sometimes I think reality is a dream. A bad dream. Even though this is really vivid & I can feel every little thing, I think, maybe if it all ended, I’ll wake up in a better life. I’m just in some coma, living another life in my dream. That’s what I tell myself. Reality is the most scary thingeverybody has to face. Judgement is literally a thing. Every day, I make my “painting” better by adding more lines to it, hoping I’ll wake up. The more I paint, the more I wanna be a heartless person or just end this pain. I think the sabotage is temporary but, why does it keep coming back? Can’t I just.. end it?