relapse

so i cut again… my right leg shin to thigh is covered…my left arm is cut horizontally, one long gash. They burn… i wish i could call her. but i know she dosent care. i read one of her old posts saying how much she loved me. its weird to think a friendship so deep could just vanish. she says she dosent hate me but i know she gets tired of my antics so im leaving her alone. no more calls no more texts. i need to stop bothering everyone with my shit. my only really close friend left is getting tired of my shit too i know. everytime i call her i have a problem. i dont want to be THAT person. I need to be happy. i need to stop with all my shit. fuck this. fuck my head. fuck everything and everyone who has hurt me. fuck him for breaking me fuck these cuts that wont stop bleeding. fuck my blood stained clothes.fuck relapse.