I hate my family and friends for caring so much. For expecting so much. It’s hard knowing there are people out there rooting for your success but you know you aren’t good enough. I always manage to screw up. I have never been ‘successful’ at something. I’m just fucking average when everyone else is around me, telling me about how great I’m doing. Little do they know that success in my future is probably not going to happen. Therefore I hate everyone for rooting me on, because even more than I hate them for this I hate that someway somehow someday I know that I will let them down. Why can’t they just see me as the failure that I truly am. Like seriously I fail at everything, academics, average, athletics, average, I even failed at joining the marines and suicide, how low can a person fucking go!
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send me an email and ill give u some things to think about. howfrail at gmail dot com
Probably not the consolation you want, but average is just that, average. If you have an average level of intelligence, you’re in good company, 70% of all people. There’s no shame there, average is built around the notion that most people are like that.
It sounds like you’re defining not being amazing at something as failure. I can understand that, I’m still looking for something to set me apart. But it sounds like the people around you would be happiest, not if you wow’d them by being an amazing sports star or something, but rather by finding something that makes you happy. If they love you, they can’t be let down by you doing well in life, that’s all the success they need. And given that the average person today is miserable (if you look under the hood, trust me they are), you’d be way ahead by doing that.
I.. think I understand my friend a bit better now. He keeps asking me to admit to how useless he is. But how could I ever do that, I love him and I think he’s wonderful just the way he is… he doesn’t need to achieve anything for me to love him.