hello friends
im jenny, im 15 and ive tried to commit suicide 4 times.
with pills and cutting methods (not important but i thought id share)
ive been doing really well lately, but last night i completely broke down
i cut after being clean for almost a week. and i cut bad.
i struggle with living with the fact that every single day i fight just to keep myself alive
im so disgusted with the world and myself and that makes me sad
i wish everything was beautiful and nice but i got  blessed with the gift of intellgence and frankly im too smart to not see the bullshit
we cant just live our lives being ignorant and pretending to be happy, or at least i cant
i want to be free. i dont want this pain.
i know that thing’s are going to get better, and i also know that nothing worth having in life comes easy
therefore, my situation is i know that i can survive in this world, i can.
but why would i chose to?
3 comments
I don’t know why… But keep in mind that 45% of us do not have a meaning (including me)
so how do they not expect the 45% of us to say “fuck it, whats the point?” when there literally is none
Hey there,
Names Tom, 20 years of age, attempted suicide three times
Same methods as everyone else
Had been coping until a week ago when the gravity of my situation decided to troll me again
Haven’t cut, have starved myself a bit though.
I struggle with the fact that I somehow still find the will to live, even when death is all that’s on my mind
To hell with the world; I’m just sick of myself and how pathetic I’ve become
The only beauty in this world is the beauty that you yourself can see, and I can see sweet f#ck all
To ignore is to deny the truth (in my case anyway) and thats why my life is some psychotic fantasy fueled equally by depression and rage
Even when I’m dead, I still won’t be free.
No one ever drowned in their own sweat was my old work mantra, it would keep me going. Now, I just don’t see the point in putting in the effort for a temporary gain
I’ve survived this long, and trust me, life has been a right bee-eye-itch to me. Give me the apocalypse and I’ll thrive in this world
…but I grow weary, and am starting to lose the fight in me.
You should wait till you’re my age, give the world another chance and see if you can find meaning in it all. It isn’t always so bad, and I’m sure we can both reflect on some good times in our lives. You’re young, you’re beautiful and have yet to experience all that there is in this sorrowful (but sometimes awesome) life.
Take care, okay?