It’s funny what people think will make me feel better. I’m tired of proving to people that I’m trying everything in my power to fix myself. It’s not working. Medication’s not helping me either. It’s like I’m stuck in a whirlpool, drowning.
“Exercise, it’ll make you feel better,” – I lost 35 pounds in the past year.
“Focus on school more, it’ll make you feel better”- I have a 3.8 GPA and I’m graduating with honours
“Socialize more”- I have a great group of friends
“Find a new hobby”- In the past year, I’ve learned fluent ASL, improved my drawing skills, learned how to knit and crochet, and finished three novels.
So, what next? Because it seems to like I’m doing everything I can to swim to shore, but I’m still drowning.
37 comments
“Finished three novels” – do you mean you wrote them yourself?
Oh sorry, didn’t specify.
Yes, wrote them myself.
They’re all about 350+ pages long.
That’s fabulous! Have you tried publishing them?
Haven’t wanted to.
Maybe in the future.
Pomegranate juice. It has lots of antioxidants.
If you end up doing so, be sure to inform the SP-ers so that we can go purchase a copy. Hehe.
Not to sound disrespectful, but I really doubt that pomegranate juice will cure my bipolar disorder.
Then you’re in serious trouble if pomegranate juice is no good.
Honestly, you sound like a very motivated person. You want to know what I did last year [2013]? Nothing, nothing at all. (I barely even watched films or read books.) Keep going at this pace and you won’t need to worry. You’ll attain success.
Medicine helps but it doesnt take it away try pot occassionally not alot just a little now and again
Hey duke!!!
I just drink, nearly every night now. Mostly to stop the fucking noise in my head and get to sleep
fuck… i am my father.
i got a job at McDonald now 🙂
You’ll forget about your problems once you got a job but i feel nothing. Nothing at all.
I do have a job… At a bookstore. I’m 17, graduating this year.
Hmmm… What if a handsome young man came into your life?…someone that loved you deeply and made you feel amazing inside…do you think love could help with anything?…
As for your bipolar issue…I think there are many methods that can help…
haha, funny you should say that.
Yesterday I made a post about that.
I have found somebody, the “perfect” guy. Like a prince in shining armour; straight out of a fairytale.
Unfortunately, I think I’m too numb to reciprocate the feelings. I have a bit of a problem with empathy; I also have a personality disorder. I’m not a sociopath, but I lack empathy and sympathy because of a ptsd event that occurred when I was younger.
I’ve always feared that I was incapable of love, but now I realize that love does nothing for me.
Methods? Oh? Please enlighten me. Not trying to be rude, but I’ve tried nearly everything suggested by my multiple therapists.
@Sunnygirl1 : Really??? Me too! I’m 17 too 🙂 where are you from?
Canada,
All those things you listed do help.
There is only one entity who has the power to heal and save.
God. Unfortunately, God is the last thing most people want to hear about.
He is the only answer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84LSLk3hfD4&sns=em
Can you not?
I’m religious. I believe in God, but I don’t need somebody coming on to my post and pushing their beliefs in my face.
HealingInHisWings – Can you please stop proselytizing on here? This isn’t the first post where you’ve told people that god is the answer to all their problems. You have posted this religious crap in response to several posts on here. Why do you think it’s appropriate for you to force your religious beliefs on other people?
Exactly,
Thank you
Isnt part of being a zealot trying to convert unbelievers to your cost even if it kills ? Just ignore him.
This is not the place for that.
Dear Sunnygirl,
You are doing fantastic! We all have the “mid life crisis” now and again. It is a normal part of self growth! Never stop trying and do not become complacent with were you are, stagnation is life draining. But, to do all these thing that you mentioned is bold and brave! You are not in a whirlpool about to drown, youn are on a launch pad! As soon as you lift off you will be out of the smoke and you will see the world from a new perspective! I am proud of you!
@sunnygirl: well I have family members with that disorder and although I don’t know exactly what they do to maintain sanity and be sociable and normal…I know they take or do something that allows them to function…. whatever it is surely helps them to be cool…
As for the love thing…give it time..if he knows your issues and still wants to love you and does love you then give it time…it’ll develop and then you’ll get that pleasant chemical rush associated with love…once you get those butterflies and fuzzy feelings all over then you’ll know what I mean… Love is powerful and when you find someone who accepts you for your flaws then hold on to them…give it time…
I really appreciate your help, my situation is pretty complicated.
Basically, I witnessed my mother’s suicide when I was younger. I remember every gruesome detail. Since then, I’ve had problems with empathy, love, and feelings in general.
I basically have a mild version of a sociopathic disorder, so when I say I can’t love, I mean it.
I don’t feel love like other people. I don’t have understanding or sympathy like other people.
Also, even if I could love, how would that help me if I don’t love/respect myself?
@sunny girl you have to forgive your mother…the deed is done…you can never alter it…forgive her and move on…obviously she felt horrible to leave as she did…but you must go on…you can be in love while not loving yourself…love is complicated…but it does work wonders when its real strong and healthy…it can change the way you think of everything…
If this guy really loves you just open yourself to him and see where it goes…where is the harm in that?
You’re pretty ignorant, aren’t you?
I honestly don’t have the patience for this.
I witnessed my mother hang herself in front of me. It’s kind of inevitable that I have trust issues and problems with empathy.
It’s not as simple as “forgive your mother”.
How would you like it if you could never reach closure? She’s not my only problem. I’m bipolar, I have severe ocd, I have tourettes, ptsd, insomnia, depression, anxiety, social anxiety.
Don’t be telling me that another human being can save me. Love won’t fix me.
Do as you please… But realize you do have a small choice…play victim all you want I give no shit and neither does the real world…you want to follow in her foot steps? Please be my guest…but don’t act like its just sooooo impossible to move on… It isn’t… What you think your mother was the first to hang herself!?!?…get real…
If you don’t want to give love a chance then fuck it…dump that guy and let him find a suitable mate….you simply aren’t it and its not fair to him to waste his time on you…
I Never said love can fix you but it can help… But obviously you don’t want that so best of luck with your gun … I hope you find the peace you seek… Stop coming here posting about shit you KNOW you don’t want help with!! Don’t call the police then not help them…smh…
You post all the time about how your mother killed herself and shit…yet I always notice how you openly say you’re the only one affected…well that’s because not everyone plays victim all the damn time… You’ll be 60 still playing this victim role…
Whatever I don’t care though… Some people love the fucking sympathy vote
@PainNlife I dont think your approach to bipolar patient (with PTSD and five more disorders) is not even close to appropriate. You should not force your own value and beliefs onto others, especially people with problems. Your statements beg the question that she is playing victim and living in her own fantasy kind of shit. She stated that she has tried almost everything that might cure her issues, and you are just mocking her efforts. You dont know anything about her life and problems, and you are making her an ignorant child with münchausen syndrome. Please dont think you are the only one with objectivity. Man, get real.
@Sunnygirl1 As a student in the field of psychology, I think you need to get consistant care with a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.(I know you said you had multiple therapist and assume you have visited psychiastic hospital, but this is the only suggestion I can give you). Can’t say it will cure you, but it is one hundred times better than advice from this community.
Thank you for your response.
My intentions were never to come off as a victim.
All I can do at this point is go back to a psychiatric ward, which I will be doing in about a week. I’ll be in an in-patient facility for about a month, so hopefully that will do something.
Are you sure hospital is what you want?
Of course not.
but at this point it seems like my only option
@T.H…..you’re correct. I should have shown more empathy. I was just frustrated about something else and I guess it came out in unexpected ways. Sunnygirl1?…I apologize….I didn’t mean those words I said…please accept my apology I hope all is well