The truth…we there is this special young lady that I love as a daughter and she has some very difficult challenges to face. I don’t know if I can help her. I have a concern that if I say something out of context it will be interpreted incorrectly and cause more pain. I will keep trying for her sake. This post though gives me strength. It gives a little nourishment to me, knowing that individuals care and therefore start posts like this. Thanks, you lifted my spirits today. I am in debt to you.
Thanks for posting this, it shows there are still people who cares 🙂 , and to answer the question i’m… i don’t know how i am, i guess just worried about some people i care about.
@OnlyLOVEisReal: I don’t think you should be afraid of saying something wrong, you sound like a really considerate and caring person… will send you an email later.
How am I? I was feeling sexy this morning, then I showered and reality hit me like a slap to the face; I’m miserable with a strong bout of depression, because depression…
I just read that you are only 20, and by the way you speak, you have so much wisdom already. can i say that i promise you will have joy to come.. i won’t.
It’s odd to be asked that question…and quite refreshing. It’s a difficult question to answer tho… I’m rapid cycling Bipolar, meaning the one moment I am in the clouds and so hyper I don’t know what to do with my energy…the next, I am so depressed, I see imaginary knives in my hands and act out plundging them into my chest. Right at this moment? I am lethargic, in pain from an arthritis flair and just hanging on to a “calm in the storm” moment…
Now again, do not have that kind of attitude that will most likely get you no where with your depression! Think happy thoughts, I know sometimes it’s hard, but really dig deep and try. And feel sexy more often!
See? Like those kind of quotes get me through the day. But shhh I’m a unicorn 😛 So one skip at a time 😛 And try to find something that calms you down, music maybe? I mean I know it’s difficult because I’m trying to find something too, but just experiment and remember even SMILING can lift your mood. 😀
Well, time in the military does that to you. I really want to believe that I will find joy in my life, but I cannot hold any kind of semblance of normality to actually go through with it.
rogue – there will be a lot of love and adventures ahead. you cannot see that now, but you have not yet had your glory. 20 is way too young to let go. start with one small step to regain normality. i know it is hard. i don’t and can’t accept who i am anymore either, i feel i have had all my glory. you haven’t.
I don’t know what I want from life. People that I care of deeply, I don’t want them to know about my problems so I don’t tell and it’s killing me because I know if I am me, people will go away. I am tired to meet new people. I am tired to talk new faces in skype. I feel like all they want is to use me somehow. I feel like actually no one much needs me if they can’t have some advantage of it. And maybe it is the cruel world. And maybe I have watched too much of false happiness movies and read to many books. Today I argued with someone that money is better than love. Because love is so hard. Money is safe and simple. Then I am craily scared of everything. I’d just inside four walls inside all days, though something in me is still pushing. Sometimes I wish that part in me would shut the fuck up for good.
*gasp* As much as I try, I cannot. Like honestly, I will have days where I want to just put myself out there and be accepted for the damaged goods I am. I want people to accept that I am nowhere their level of socialising and being a normal person. I keep myself away from everyone for fear of being shunned by society.
On top of that, there’s of course my thoughts. We all know how they like to troll us time and time again. Love has constantly evaded me, who could love someone as broken as me, so I leave it as is.
Hmm… I am the adventurous type though. You may be on to something there…
How am I?
Good question!
Miserabe i guess would be the best way to describe it and like much of us i hide being the key board and computer screen and deal with it that way.
24 comments
The truth…we there is this special young lady that I love as a daughter and she has some very difficult challenges to face. I don’t know if I can help her. I have a concern that if I say something out of context it will be interpreted incorrectly and cause more pain. I will keep trying for her sake. This post though gives me strength. It gives a little nourishment to me, knowing that individuals care and therefore start posts like this. Thanks, you lifted my spirits today. I am in debt to you.
I’m a 24 years old 8(
Live seems to be stuck on neutral for me right now. I’m in the deepest sh%i hole imaginable with no way out.
Thanks for posting this, it shows there are still people who cares 🙂 , and to answer the question i’m… i don’t know how i am, i guess just worried about some people i care about.
@OnlyLOVEisReal: I don’t think you should be afraid of saying something wrong, you sound like a really considerate and caring person… will send you an email later.
How am I? I was feeling sexy this morning, then I showered and reality hit me like a slap to the face; I’m miserable with a strong bout of depression, because depression…
Depression never changes.
RogueLonesome, can you explain to me why depression will not leave you?
Keief, I try not to cause more pain. There are enough sources of pain in the world, I chose not to contribute to that intentionally
i am going to have to end my life soon. it isn’t because i want to, because i have to. there’s no other way.
@OLIR
I’ve let it fester and it’s a part ot me now. Besides, it’s not like I have any hope left.
@fox
I know that feel, ma’am. Suicide is a matter of circumstance for me. I want it to be over already.
@OnlyLOVEisReal: i respect that, i wish more people would think that way
I just read that you are only 20, and by the way you speak, you have so much wisdom already. can i say that i promise you will have joy to come.. i won’t.
keief
OLR
Rogue
love to all of you
@fox
Is that directed at me?
And I graciously accept this love you have given, have some from me <3
Rogue – yes. and the comment above was for you too – hard for you to believe now, but there will be joy in your life to come.
It’s odd to be asked that question…and quite refreshing. It’s a difficult question to answer tho… I’m rapid cycling Bipolar, meaning the one moment I am in the clouds and so hyper I don’t know what to do with my energy…the next, I am so depressed, I see imaginary knives in my hands and act out plundging them into my chest. Right at this moment? I am lethargic, in pain from an arthritis flair and just hanging on to a “calm in the storm” moment…
Now don’t you have that attitude! You will find a way out I am sure of it!!!
It’s okay to not know! And it’s perfectly fine to worry, but as one person told me, don’t focus so much on the steps to not enjoy the dance!
Now again, do not have that kind of attitude that will most likely get you no where with your depression! Think happy thoughts, I know sometimes it’s hard, but really dig deep and try. And feel sexy more often!
LetItGo: It’s not so much about the destination…but more about the journey 😉
Now who is forcing you to end your life? Is it yourself? Is it someone else? Because I doubt that someone wants you dead…
See? Like those kind of quotes get me through the day. But shhh I’m a unicorn 😛 So one skip at a time 😛 And try to find something that calms you down, music maybe? I mean I know it’s difficult because I’m trying to find something too, but just experiment and remember even SMILING can lift your mood. 😀
@fox
Well, time in the military does that to you. I really want to believe that I will find joy in my life, but I cannot hold any kind of semblance of normality to actually go through with it.
Thank you though, it means a lot.
rogue – there will be a lot of love and adventures ahead. you cannot see that now, but you have not yet had your glory. 20 is way too young to let go. start with one small step to regain normality. i know it is hard. i don’t and can’t accept who i am anymore either, i feel i have had all my glory. you haven’t.
I don’t know what I want from life. People that I care of deeply, I don’t want them to know about my problems so I don’t tell and it’s killing me because I know if I am me, people will go away. I am tired to meet new people. I am tired to talk new faces in skype. I feel like all they want is to use me somehow. I feel like actually no one much needs me if they can’t have some advantage of it. And maybe it is the cruel world. And maybe I have watched too much of false happiness movies and read to many books. Today I argued with someone that money is better than love. Because love is so hard. Money is safe and simple. Then I am craily scared of everything. I’d just inside four walls inside all days, though something in me is still pushing. Sometimes I wish that part in me would shut the fuck up for good.
@fox
*gasp* As much as I try, I cannot. Like honestly, I will have days where I want to just put myself out there and be accepted for the damaged goods I am. I want people to accept that I am nowhere their level of socialising and being a normal person. I keep myself away from everyone for fear of being shunned by society.
On top of that, there’s of course my thoughts. We all know how they like to troll us time and time again. Love has constantly evaded me, who could love someone as broken as me, so I leave it as is.
Hmm… I am the adventurous type though. You may be on to something there…
How am I?
Good question!
Miserabe i guess would be the best way to describe it and like much of us i hide being the key board and computer screen and deal with it that way.