Okay, this is what happened:
So, earlier today (yesterday), I felt like making coffee ice cream. You know, take a bag, fill it with the mixture, close it, put it in a bigger bag, fill that with rock salt and ice, close that, and shake for a few minutes? (I double-bagged the inner bag and triple-bagged the outer bag to prevent a spill in case they break.) In all, it’s suppose to take about 30 minutes or so.
Right now it’s 1:41 am and I started at about 10-11 pm. Yeah. And I’m still not done. I’m shaking the concoction right now.
First you have to know that our coffee machine has been broken for several years, and we’ve making coffee by taking the filter-holder-thing from the broken machine, putting it on a cup, putting the filter on the filter-holder-thing, putting a tablespoon of ground coffee inside, boiling some water, then pouring the boiling water over the filter-holder-thing. Hopefully you can keep track of all of this. 😉
So, I was doing this as usual, but since I couldn’t put my mouth on the cup (other people will be eating this ice cream too), every time I needed to taste it, I took another spoon. It wasn’t too long before I ran out of spoons. So I started using dosing cups instead. Finally, I got the mixture right, so I poured it into the small bag over the sink. I lost nearly a quarter of the coffee.
So, to fill up the bag some more, I threw away the coffee filter, and repeated the process. I put the small bag in the big bag and began shaking.
Soon, I realized that the ice had nearly melted, and the coffee was barely cold! So I took the bag into the kitchen, opened it up, and filled it with more ice. But while I was doing so, I realized the small bag was filled to the brim with coffee! Now, the problem with this is that when water freezes, it expands, so I wanted to remove some of the coffee from the bag. I opened the bag and left it on the counter, but I realized I was out of spoons, and I didn’t want to use another dosing cup in case we needed them, so I took a used dosing cup and began washing it. While I was cleaning it, the bag full of coffee fell on the floor. 🙁
I shouted, and my mom woke up. She asked me what was wrong, I said “Nothing!”, and, amazingly, she went back to sleep.
So… I took a bunch of newspapers to clean up the floor, cleaned all the spoons and a dosing cup, cleaned up most of the leftover mess, put the melting ice and salt in the freezer, and began the whole process again.
Then, while I was making the coffee. the coffee filter folded over itself, and some of the coffee grounds started falling into the cup. And like the moron I am, I tried to fix it while I was pouring the boiling water. I ended up burning the thumb on my left hand. 🙁
So, I managed to finish one cup. Then I took the coffee filter to the sink, cleaned it up, and put it back in the coffee-holder-thing. Then I made another cup of coffee.
I took the melting ice and salt from the freezer, then put more salt and ice in the bag. Now I’m shaking it.
Darn it. The concoction didn’t freeze! I shouldn’t have been multitasking! Now I’m going to have to add more ice and salt… 🙁 🙁 🙁
This is how to make coffee ice cream the WRONG WAY.
UPDATE: After a long time of shaking, the coffee finally froze! I opened the bags, took it out, and emptied it into a small container. Even though I’m officially sick of coffee and ice cream, I tasted it. Guess what? I didn’t add enough sugar.
So, I emptied the contents of the container into the bag, meanwhile, spilling a good deal of it onto the counter. Then, after recovering what I could and cleaning up the mess, I put some sugar in a cup, added water, and put it in the microwave. I added this to the slushy coffee ice cream, and tried this several times. Now, after putting it back in the bag, I’m shaking it all over again. My dad woke up, and he’s pestering me, but at least my mom is sound asleep. Take note of the time. (Daylight savings is in effect, but if it hadn’t been, it would be 3:09 am.)
UPDATE: (4:59 am/ would be 3:59 am) My dad helped me clean up the mess. The ice cream still didn’t freeze and is still slush. I put it in a new bag with ice and salt, and I’m trying *again*.
UPDATE: At about 5:30/would be 4:30am I finished the ice cream. Wow, about 6 hours. The consistency wasn’t great, but it was good enough. I packed it up and put it in the freezer as it turned into slush (unfortunately, this type of ice cream has a tendency to solidify into an ice cube). So, I pretty much spent the rest of my time cleaning up the floor and finding dead bugs underneath the oven. My mom woke up, clueless as to what I’ve been doing and annoyed with me that I didn’t clean my backpack. She thinks I’d been wasting my time on the Internet. Can’t wait until she finds out what I’d really been doing all this time.
8 comments
Very intresting
ummmm i would just get a heap of icecream, Pour a couple shots of hot espresso, Fold it in then, mix it hectic or in a blender, pour into a cup then refreeze
I like irrelevant this is. I have never tried to make coffe ice cream but I will keep this in mind if I ever do
@Nit3fr3ak
But that would be too easy, and I never do things the easy way. 😉 But I guess it wouldn’t be easy, considering I don’t have any espresso.
And guess what? They don’t even sell our favorite brand of coffee ice cream anymore at Kroger! 🙁
@paul_1991
lol Well, everyone needs a distraction once in a while. I guess after all of this I have an urge to jump off a roof, though. 😉
I think the best way would be to buy one of those ice-cream makers and a decent coffee maker. But it’s not like I’m going to spend money on that!
It sounds like you had a fun time anyways 🙂 Probably because I’m pretty tired and hungover but the more I read and think about it the more it makes me laugh
@paul_1991
Yeah, I guess I did… to some extent.
That’s good. Glad something good came out of it. 🙂 But I doubt that would be the ice cream.
And when I said “that’s good” I didn’t mean the tired and hungover part. 😉
Haha I got you. I’m not supposed to drink because of the meds but this weekend I just decided to say fuck it and got really drunk and stoned. I just love the way every single thing that could have possibly gone wrong did and you keep going because of the dream of the coffe ice cream
Ouch. I hope your recover from that hangover, and I hope that didn’t have too bad of a reaction with the meds.
Yeah. Last time I did this, I didn’t have nearly as many problems. But I was trying to make grape fruit ice cream, and it turned out terrible. (Amazingly, my mom loved it!)
When you put it that way, it sounds kind of monumental.