I am a 15 year old female. My father died when I was 7 years old & my mother died last year, June 12th, 2010. I’ve been a victim of sexual abuse & physical abuse from the time I was ten years old. The sad part is my mommy never believed me.
I’ve been self-mutilating since I was 11 & have had an eating disorder since I was 13.
My boyfriend, my love, broke up with me a few weeks ago. Yes, I know it’s just a guy, but he helped me in so many ways. He showed me my worth, was the reason I stopped cutting, tried to recover on my own. But after 16 months of being together, he gave up on me.
My heart hurts. I have no one. I have no friends. Only acquaintances. There is no person I have who I could call for help. Heck. The school counselor doesn’t even see me on the days she says she would. I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I miss having the love of my life who would hold me and say everything’s going to be alright.
I’m tired. I feel worthless. It doesn’t matter how many universities send me letters. It doesn’t matter if Stanford & UCLA invite me to spend a summer on campus. I despise every little thing about me.
Goodbye, strangers. I wish I would’ve gotten help sooner. Smile 🙂
4 comments
Wow. Nobody should ever have to suffer as you have suffered. Be it through death, or more amiably, through an improvement of life, I hope you find peace.
I hope your journey goes well for you! Also.. there’s always anime.. ^.^
u want somone who cares find me on FB facebook (dot) com/iloveasiaforever or twitter @BubbyStoney
If you start college new opportunities and a new life will start. start a new life with new friends instead wanting to die.
You’ve gone through things that made you feel this way, the loss of your mom and dad, the sexual and physical abuse eating disorder, everything made you end up like this. That’s horrible that your mom didn’t believe you…so unfair. But now you have to get your control back. You have to start a new life from now, try to hang out with people who make you happy, try to do things what you like and keep the future in mind, you can build your own future! When are you going to college?
And that bf, you don’t need him if he walks away like that, he didn’t even stay friends with you? If he didn’t then screw him! you don’t need people like that around you. You need people around you who make you feel good, make you laugh, say how beautiful you are, how nice and smart you are! Always be kind to other people so that they’ll come to you and hang out with you. Do you have other friends?
If you want to talk, please say it, i can give u my emailaddress.