Isn’t it fun when you see someone you used to know, get a glimpse of how successful and fruitful their life has been, and meanwhile the only thing you can hope to do is die.
Because you’re such a fucking failure and your life is nonexistent, all you can hope to do is die.
Some spark of the old competition flares up in you, but it’s silly because you fail so hard at life.
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*Their* life is a joy, yep. As much as my life pains me, as hard as it is for me to stand on my own feet . . . watching somebody I care about thrive sparks up some joy in me. Then again, it makes me feel so much longing which adds to my depression. But in the end, I’d rather them see them be a skyscraper of success, even if I’m over here being nothing.
Weird thing is, it doesn’t contribute any emotion of competitiveness. I don’t feel the need to be *more* successful then somebody else. I have my own definition for that.
It’s a good thing I have no way of keeping people within an arm’s length of me. Then I don’t have to even think about it unless I have the misfortune of encountering it.
Still another reason why life sucks. Total isolation.
You never know what people go through, behind closed doors.
I’m just saying some people appear happy and talk about how wonderful their life is especially to an old friend when in fact, there life suxs just like yours…..
No one’s can suck like mine. I’m a pretty unique sort of failure.
It’s kind of clear though, other people living my dreams. I’d give anything to be them.
Im in the exact situation as you, in terms of being isolated with no way of finding any companions. Im totally alone except for my parents of course, who have the personalitys of stones. I know how it feels. It feels like the loneliness is literally consuming me.
Yep, and there’s no way I can dig myself out of this. My brain simply lacks the means and will only hold me back as it does in every other way.
Once you fall into it, how do you learn to not be alone? Especially when nobody can be bothered with someone as weird and broken as you?
I’m so jealous of seeing these people I knew have normal lives filled with friendship and companionship and successes, going out and exploring the world while I’m stuck here sitting on my hands hoping I don’t wake up. Back when I thought there was something for me in this world, I would have never expected things could turn into such a mousetrap.
You can’t possibly be more of a “unique failure” than myself poisontongue! lol…
Can that be possible? :p Most professionals in the mental health industry, at least as far as I’ve encountered, don’t know what to make of me.
No life experience, total isolation, falling short in everything I try…
You just have to make friends. At least thats what people tell me. All my old friends have girlfriends, on varsity teams, and have a tight social circle of which I used to be a part of. However when I decided to go to an alternitive school for maybe a year or two they totally cut me off. All at the same time. I was very heart broken at first since I was very close with four of them for over five years. Now, about five or so months later it shifts from numbness to despair frequently. The feeling that my social life is passing by is the most frustrating thing ive experienced in this life time. You know what they do to prisoners when they act up? They put them in solitary confinement. Their punishment is to be taken away from rapists, murderers, and other scum of the earth. I wouldnt wish this fate on my worst enemy.
I haven’t had a real friend since elementary school and it’s only recently that I’ve gotten a little better on the Internet, which is still fraught with difficulty connecting to other people.
It’s so easy for them to just make friends… it’s impossible for me, now, and I don’t even know where to find people my own age let alone not make a fool of myself and clam up.
well it’s a constant thing for me. It’s why I never go to a school reunion or to church because I am sick of people rubbing their lives in my face and being so insensitive when its very obvious I can’t have what they have (my birth defects prevent me from experiencing 99.99 percent of normal life). I limit my “social circle” to people I know well, usually middle aged people a bit older than me who are accustomed to my differences and are willing to treat me like a regular person. But my advice is, just stay away from places that force you to feel inferior (high end social clubs, school reunions, anywhere that’s a popularity contest). Most people spend their entire lives playing the popularity game…what a waste…even if they win the “most facebook friends award”….what really have they accomplished in life? I am wary of anyone who is popular, because human beings are an evil race, and being popular amongst human beings is like winning the “Most evil” award
I don’t go anywhere, anyway. There’s no place for me to go. I’d have to lock myself up and close the laptop to avoid my inferiority… the counselor likes me to get out and be among people, but there’s really no place for me. Not around here.
I can’t go anywhere either without being harrassed