Soeymeone else just posted this video:
What a coincidence…..I arrived home in PHX a few hours ago after spending a few hours on the GGB…I think I know pretty much all there is to know about what happens when you hit the water, so in watching this video I learned zilch. The majority of it was a guilt trip placed on people who choose to die this way. It was mostly about the “collateral” damage done to those who remain.
Frankly, I am sick of hearing this. If I ever decide to “go through with it” I will have no guilt about doing so (in advance, of course). I am 59 yrs old. I have an older brother and sister. I have 2 adult nephews and one adult niece. I never, never, never hear from them. I must initiate all contact and if I want to see them, I must go to them. I have nothing in common with their lives, other than blood relationships, so I guess this is to be expected. But what hurts, my eldest nephew and his sister always used to come to me when they were in conflict with their parents, all through their preteen years and until they married in their late 20’s. Now…..nothing….I am the only unmarried/partnered person in my immediate family…so now, those years of sharing and caring seem to have counted for nothing. If I do decide to exit on my own, I would not expect any of them to feel any great loss. They have chosen to divest themselves of any involvement or relationship with me. How can a person feel grief for the loss of someone they obviously have little regard for? I would consider their tears to be what we call “crocodile tears.” There would be more genuine grief from the 2 or 3 people I consider friends. And guess what? THEY are the ones who will benefit in my will  when I die.
I am sick and tired of this “suicide survivor” trip…..the people who remain behind are NOT survivors. They didn’t try, and fail, to end their own lives.
Now….having said all of this, I want to say that I know that some people on this site DO have family who will be devastated should their loved one die by suicide. I do not….so…word out to the guilt trippers…..stop wasting your breath….It AIN’T working!
Although I’ve been drawn to the bridge for most of my adult life (having grown up in the Bay Area), I don’t believe I will choose this method to make my exit. As previously  mentioned, I will simply stop taking the medications I take to support my heart function and let nature take its course. But I’m going to see how things go in Puerto Vallarta before embarking on that course. When I choose to go down that path, it will be because I am just so terribly lonely and have nothing to offer. No one will miss me. I do not consider myself a burden on anyone. I simply have nothing and no one to stay alive for. And I honestly believe, the two or three people I consider friends would understand.
Does anyone else feel as I do (about the survivor thing)?
9 comments
Best wishes. Do seek help, if you can.
I don’t think that posting here does any good. This web site has nothing to do with its original purpose. It’s more of a hangout now.
I’m unsure that deaths which follow discontinuing or refusing a medical treatment can be classed as suicide. They would be natural deaths.
In any event, relatives or friends left behind are impacted in some way, even if relationships had been on bad terms or nonexistent. There’s simply no way around it.
Best of luck to you.
Oh, I’ve gone the therapist route before, even worked with therapists who share my religious beliefs. I know what I believe will happen when I die and that actually makes me happy. As to whether or not ceasing to take medications can be considered suicide…that’s a non issue for me. I will be leaving a retirement fund, dispersed to people I choose to leave it. My cremation is already prepaid. I have no debt. I live on disability (due to my heart) and an allowance I pay myself from my fund. I will be leaving family items I inherited to my blood relations, but not my money. The kids will inherit from their own parents and in-laws. If anything “impacts” them, that will be it.
You have my apologies, if these are needed, and my best wishes.
Hatshepsut….there is absolutely no reason to apologize. What you wrote, you wrote out of concern and compassion. And for that, I thank you. I try not to write rants when I am sleep deprived and angry, but sometimes it’s unavoidable. LOL
Peace and prayers………
Just seemed like a suicide prevention video and things like that are expected to come up.
There are people like highway patrol, police and medical staff who are trained to try and save lives and educate people about certain dangers. Its their job.
As far as the bridge is concerned. If a person really wants to jump they can just do so. they are simply trying to talk people out of doing that… and of course jumping is not the only way to go.
No, jumping is not the only way to go. However, as I am extremely anti NRA, a self inflicted gunshot wound is out of the question (I know that sounds somewhat strange considering I’m talking about ending my own life). Hanging, drowning and poisoning sound painful and I want to avoid that. Pills are what are keeping me alive, so it only seems logical that stopping the use of them would be the way to go. But make no mistake….I will leave a “note” as part of my will. They will know this was a deliberate act of suicide.
I hope you can get some rest. The tone of this is a bit unusual for you, not that your posts have to be consistent or uplifting or anything.
I agree suicide survivor is something of a misnomer. And guilt, while often effective, is not a great motivator.
I would resist concluding people don’t care for you because they haven’t been in contact. It’s easy to misinterpret others actions based on how we think we would respond. The truth is that more and more is demanded of us. We’re expected to be more available (with cell phones, texts, emails, etc.), and most people are going numb trying to cope with their own problems. Their unawareness need not be a reflection about you.
It sounds like you have been a giver, but when you gave, you probably did so freely, and not with an unspoken expectation of gratitude or repayment in the future. Our society is not one that honors people when they get older. You can’t with certainty know your relatives will be indifferent to your passing. I’m not guilt tripping here. I just don’t know how you can know with certainty how others will feel. It seems like you are choosing to believe the most negative scenario.
What do you want to say in your note? Who will you be leaving it for?
In my note, I want to make clear what lead directly to my death, that it was a conscious decision to stop medicating myself. And that the reason I made this decision is I feel I have absolutely no reason to stay alive as there is no one who needs me or desires my presence. All those who have shown me love, given me companionship and made me feel of value are already on the other side….I am in exile.
I agree, the tone of this post is somewhat dark for me, given the positive things that have been happening in recent months. But sometimes my MDD asserts itself and I have to vent.
No, our society worships the youth culture and the elderly (particularly the poor elderly) are obsolete and without value. That is where I am headed.
I just want a simple life and I want someone to share it with, in some capacity….not necessarily a romantic relationship…..I need a companion (and don’t tell me to get a pet or I will send a large, angry, psychotic nun to beat you with a yard stick).
Who in particular do you need to know that? Why do you need to communicate it?
Unless you are living with someone and wish to exonerate them or save the county the expense of N autopsy, I’m sensing there is something else. You don’t have to share it, but I hope you have clarity.
At one point, I was diagnosed with MDD lite (type I) and am currently weathering my worst depression ever, so I can somewhat relate. I know my emotional state is more than negative ruminating. There is a biochemical component.
I ever-so-briefly sold cars (because I liked them) in my 20s. I remember a veteran salesman looking over the lot and saying, “You can’t get down … There’s an a-s for every seat.” I’m betting there is companionship out there for you if you are open to it. There are lots of divorcees, widows, online dating services, even Internet brides, but you need to be willing to put yourself out there. The numbers are in your favor, even if you are bald and have trouble finding your waist.
I think dogs are superior for unconditional love, but they do impede traveling freedom. (Ok, I’m ready for my spanking.). ;^D