when you’re on the edge of the cliff it really feels like there isn’t anything innocent anymore in your life, innocent isn’t ignorance nor being naive, it’s being curious and free of any ill intentions or thoughts about something, when something you’re depressed everything feels warped with illness
Sometimes your “eyes” need to close for a while… your mind needs to rest for a while…
There is so much to “see,” so much to process… you’ll overheat or burn out if you don’t take breaks.
Innocence can also be a state of mind, which can again become a state of being.
And in some ways… aren’t we all “already dead?”
And as with the samurai: if you treat each day as if you have already died, but still have this day to do what you would have wanted to do… perhaps it is better to have already died. When it actually happens, you will greet it with a laugh, like an old friend, who took much longer than expected, to arrive.
Study is one and probably the only measure i have that i use to check whether i am true or not, i.e. whether i am deluding myself or being genuine. if i can study and understand concepts then i am being true, otherwise false. today i realized how false i am and how i have trapped myself in a self-designed maze of lies. firstly it was for just play and experimenting, but look how it has trapped me now. i can’t study. i can’t open my eyes from this false state. i know its false but i am unable to get out of it. everything i have ever said here was a lie and now i am paying for that. i wanted to experience filth, corruption, ego… well i succeeded and have tasted them, and i must say they are quite strong, almost like drugs or life. Osho and everybody else warned me about it… infact it was their warning itself that tempted me to taste these things… kinda like the story of eating of forbidden fruit. i can’t go back, no? i don’t know this can’t be true, this can’t be my permanent state, i wasn’t like this. why the hell i can’t see differently? i used to do this in a snap. that sacredness, that life energy, which used to be embedded in innocence, is gone. i have become enclosed in a dead shell.
It frees you from delusions and false constructs, but you awaken into a nightmarish reality.
This is part of why they say “ignorance is bliss.” To never know the corruptions and wickedness of the world, means that you are still “innocent” of that knowledge, and therefore not constrained or influenced by it. In order to be “true,” you have to accept that knowledge of harsh and corrupted reality, but then earn your way back to a new type of innocence: one you create for yourself, through truth, instead of the previous illusory innocence we inherit from the ignorance of birth, and the childhood indoctrination of social constructs. This is part of why parents shelter their children with fantasies. Truth is a double edged sword: live by the truth, die by the truth. This statement can be true for any path or method. Live by lie, die by lie. Live by emptiness, die by emptiness. Live by honor, die by honor.
Whatever any of us do with our lives, will ultimately lead to the same result: death.
It’s what you do before then, and why, that matters… and you are the only one who decides whether you chose the right way to live and die.
That “innocence” is still there… but the “red pill” changes what it means. It becomes a choice, and not just something you’re born with. It’s something you have to work for, to maintain, as a way of life. You need to see both light and dark, to understand the value of either. That taste of corruption has only caused you to appreciate innocence even more… and i think that’s a right step.
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when you’re on the edge of the cliff it really feels like there isn’t anything innocent anymore in your life, innocent isn’t ignorance nor being naive, it’s being curious and free of any ill intentions or thoughts about something, when something you’re depressed everything feels warped with illness
Sometimes your “eyes” need to close for a while… your mind needs to rest for a while…
There is so much to “see,” so much to process… you’ll overheat or burn out if you don’t take breaks.
Innocence can also be a state of mind, which can again become a state of being.
And in some ways… aren’t we all “already dead?”
And as with the samurai: if you treat each day as if you have already died, but still have this day to do what you would have wanted to do… perhaps it is better to have already died. When it actually happens, you will greet it with a laugh, like an old friend, who took much longer than expected, to arrive.
Study is one and probably the only measure i have that i use to check whether i am true or not, i.e. whether i am deluding myself or being genuine. if i can study and understand concepts then i am being true, otherwise false. today i realized how false i am and how i have trapped myself in a self-designed maze of lies. firstly it was for just play and experimenting, but look how it has trapped me now. i can’t study. i can’t open my eyes from this false state. i know its false but i am unable to get out of it. everything i have ever said here was a lie and now i am paying for that. i wanted to experience filth, corruption, ego… well i succeeded and have tasted them, and i must say they are quite strong, almost like drugs or life. Osho and everybody else warned me about it… infact it was their warning itself that tempted me to taste these things… kinda like the story of eating of forbidden fruit. i can’t go back, no? i don’t know this can’t be true, this can’t be my permanent state, i wasn’t like this. why the hell i can’t see differently? i used to do this in a snap. that sacredness, that life energy, which used to be embedded in innocence, is gone. i have become enclosed in a dead shell.
It’s the “red pill.”
It frees you from delusions and false constructs, but you awaken into a nightmarish reality.
This is part of why they say “ignorance is bliss.” To never know the corruptions and wickedness of the world, means that you are still “innocent” of that knowledge, and therefore not constrained or influenced by it. In order to be “true,” you have to accept that knowledge of harsh and corrupted reality, but then earn your way back to a new type of innocence: one you create for yourself, through truth, instead of the previous illusory innocence we inherit from the ignorance of birth, and the childhood indoctrination of social constructs. This is part of why parents shelter their children with fantasies. Truth is a double edged sword: live by the truth, die by the truth. This statement can be true for any path or method. Live by lie, die by lie. Live by emptiness, die by emptiness. Live by honor, die by honor.
Whatever any of us do with our lives, will ultimately lead to the same result: death.
It’s what you do before then, and why, that matters… and you are the only one who decides whether you chose the right way to live and die.
That “innocence” is still there… but the “red pill” changes what it means. It becomes a choice, and not just something you’re born with. It’s something you have to work for, to maintain, as a way of life. You need to see both light and dark, to understand the value of either. That taste of corruption has only caused you to appreciate innocence even more… and i think that’s a right step.
You understand it clevername. Thank you.