all those tests
With red X’s through them
Life is just a test
And I’m just putting a red x
through mine
Right on my wrist
The blade is so much more powerful than
the pen
life was recently getting too happy and sad within hours, 2014 was easily the worst year of my life. fuck it, i’ve tried everything to distract myself from real life, nothing works, i tried to kill myself a few weeks ago (with pills, the “i don’t really wanna die” way out, which makes me wanna kill myself more, but with a gun or a knife), in fact, i have a gun; and might end it tomorrow. if i was newer here and no one knew me it would of been different, but now they’re used to the same bullshit. no one can help me. i find myself sinking further into nothingness and getting further away from the help i could have gotten but refused to get, and it seemed like i really didn’t wanna die. however now i’m reaching out and no one cares: kind of like the boy who cried wolf.
Everybody’s time comes. Some of us are more assertive about when that will be. Stick around one more day and be at peace knowing it can be over in 24 hours. Smile at everyone you see because you know you won’t be there the next day and they have no idea. See how it makes you feel. As much as i and im sure many others wish you would give it just a little longer, the hidden gem of SP is all the people who will not judge you if you do decide to leave. Ironically, that makes me feel a little less shitty about myself, and i hope it does you as well.
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i’m contemplating slitting my wrists.
Me too and why
life was recently getting too happy and sad within hours, 2014 was easily the worst year of my life. fuck it, i’ve tried everything to distract myself from real life, nothing works, i tried to kill myself a few weeks ago (with pills, the “i don’t really wanna die” way out, which makes me wanna kill myself more, but with a gun or a knife), in fact, i have a gun; and might end it tomorrow. if i was newer here and no one knew me it would of been different, but now they’re used to the same bullshit. no one can help me. i find myself sinking further into nothingness and getting further away from the help i could have gotten but refused to get, and it seemed like i really didn’t wanna die. however now i’m reaching out and no one cares: kind of like the boy who cried wolf.
The boy who cried wolf -I thunk the wolf was there the dumbass villagers just needed glasses
U should know I do care and I know exactly wat u mean
Everybody’s time comes. Some of us are more assertive about when that will be. Stick around one more day and be at peace knowing it can be over in 24 hours. Smile at everyone you see because you know you won’t be there the next day and they have no idea. See how it makes you feel. As much as i and im sure many others wish you would give it just a little longer, the hidden gem of SP is all the people who will not judge you if you do decide to leave. Ironically, that makes me feel a little less shitty about myself, and i hope it does you as well.