I don’t have anyone in this world. No friends or girlfriend, nothing at all. I’m only 18 but I don’t want to get a job and work for the rest of my life. It just seems like torture. I’m also afraid of getting old. I don’t want to be remembered like that. I’d rather die while I’m still young. Not only that but I generally dislike humans. We do a lot of horrible things and yeah this world is just cruel. I also feel controlled as a human, it’s hard to explain but yeah.. I want to feel like I’m the one in control and not just another human that gets born, works, reproduces gets old and then dies. I just want to say fuck you to this cruel world and get out. However idk what’s on the other side. What if it’s worse? and was I really that one sperm out of trillions and trillions, overcoming all odds and being born? I just don’t even know anymore. Hell I don’t even know for sure if anything is actually real since it could be all in my mind. Life is so fucked up man.
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Working is garbage…I hate it primarily because it takes up most of your valuable time and if you’re like most of us regular wage earners, then you don’t get too far ahead in life.
This is a rich man’s world. If you’re eeking by then life becomes meaningless. However to bring some balance into this-having a job normalized my life, gave me a routine that isn’t bad. Sometimes I even look forward to work because my co-workers (mostly) tend to be a bunch of comedians…so we have a good time.
It pays the bills and I’ve been on the other side brother and it’s shit when you don’t have an income. I am the kind of person who’s usually beaten the odds in life, so although my current job is shit, I have the education to go further and I will.
But there are other good things to look forward to in life, like travelling, finding someone special and so forth. You can make friends or just start dating people. Do something to change-up your life.
Presently I’m in a state of misery over certain things yet I also have a few good things that are going on too-such as a girl I really like seems to like me also, but I still have to work on that a bit.
Believe me there have been many points I’ve felt just like you. Sometimes I pause in my normal week and wonder if I should just end my life. I’m in my early 40s now….been thinking like this for a while. I think I’m going to ride it out a little longer and see if things turn for the better.
I tend to be surrounded by highly successful people, even my family members are doing better than me-though technically I’m better educated. I was supposed to have gone further too but some issues in my life screwed it up for me…but I think I have an ace in my back-pocket, a business idea and if it works out then I’ll rub all their noses in it. It’s not new for me, I’ve made good money doing a business before but not enough to retire on..but this time I think I will achieve my goal and make them drool…but I’m keeping my trap shut until I do.