So angry I woke up today. Made the mistake of not hiding the empty metoprolol bottle. Husband found it and of course called 911 after he promised me not too. Current bp is 74/50 – should be 0/0. My thoughts haven’t changed – he says he’s done. I was done yesterday but you decided for me I wasn’t – then proceed to tell me as they’re saving my life you’re moving out. Thanks for nothing. Next time I know better.
Failure at life…
9 comments
quick pull the plug while you have the chance.
Wish I had a plug to pull
Ugh, I’m sorry. I can understand from his end that he didn’t want to feel like he was “responsible” for your suicide (which is how most would see it rather than honouring that it was your choice) but that’s still got to be a let down for you. The wildcard of survivor’s guilt is yet another reason, I suppose, why people leave notes rather than tell others in advance. (I was just struggling with some ironic circumstances related to this today.)
I’m sorry for you, perhaps you’ll always regret not dying, perhaps one day you’ll be happy you survived, idk, I wish I could find the right words, but I can’t, it’s sad.
Gonna have to BS the psych once I’m medically cleared so as not to end up as a court ordered patient – throughly irritated
I think the part thats pissed at him for leaving you still want to live. Sorry you didnt die. That must be disappointing. Good luck
I’m pissed cause I DON’T want to live. I’m pissed because he took MY decision away from me. I’m pissed because I still now HAVE to live – at least for now – while he walks out on me. How DARE he claim to ‘care’, call 911 then proceed to leave his broken wife.
Unless this is something he’s thought through on his own, and he’s already an advocate for end-of-life rights, most people can not wrap their minds around letting someone else commit suicide without intervening. Most people (myself included) were brought up believing that to do such a thing is ethically wrong, and possibly akin to murder.
While I totally understand your frustration, I don’t think it’s realistic or fair to expect him to understand where you’re coming from, and to just let you die. Perhaps more importantly, this is something for which he could plausibly be held responsible, and that could cause a lot of problems for him. It’s not fair for him to have to carry that burden for the rest of his life.
If he’s already left, and if you’re still committed to ending your life, it will be easier now to choose a time and place when you won’t be interrupted. He won’t be able to intervene, nor is there any possibility that he may be unfairly held responsible.
I’m sorry you’re in so much pain, and I hope things work out for you.
Good point! Last thing I want is for anyone to be held liable for my own death by my own hand – he can have clean hands.