I hate those assholes. Last spring, all the classmates were supposed to have a beer after critique. Unbeknownst to us, over half of them went to a different place than agreed – just to blow us off. They gave a reason later but it was clearly an excuse. The place we were going to, they said was closed. WELL IT WASN’T. ASSHOLES!
Last spring, some of my friends formed a competition team while I was away for a week. When I’m back – NOPE, SORRY, WE’RE FULL. I blew up at them for blowing me off. I said I suspect they do not ever want me in their team again – they say no no, it’s a coincidence. Everything’s fine.This fall, who has formed a team again? Without me? WELL FUCK YOU, BITHCES!!!
Seeing one classmate, now, on Facebook, asking people to gather on New Year’s Eve. One of their friends reply, and they reply back: “Well, it’s not the quantity, it’s the quality of people!” Ooooh, that’s so cuuute – BURN IN HELL, ASSHOLE. I’m seriously considering telling them all to go fuck themselves, but I’m concerned of how that might reflect on the good relationships I still have. I’m just so angry. YOU’RE BLOWING ME OFF. AND THEN YOU TELL ME I’M JUST PARANOID. GET SOME HELP. AND THEN YOU BLOW ME OFF AGAIN. AND AGAIN. HOW ABOUT I REMOVE YOU FROM YOUR CIRCLE AND MAKE YOU SEE A PSYCH. MAKE YOU THINK YOU’RE FUCKING CRAZY. AND THEN I TELL EVERYONE TO AVOID YOU COZ YOU’RE CRAZY. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUUU!!!!
/rant
2 comments
Yikes. Reading your post suddenly I’m drawn into my own history of being rejected over and over. I’ve come to the place where I won’t show myself. Withdrawn. Why bother? Avoid most people. Even here..on SP…I pop a comment then run…rarely check back. anyway..I get what you’re saying.
Yeah, I had all but forgotten about all this, too, until I saw one stupid Facebook post. This fall I’ve been meeting new people and getting new friends. Next year I’m starting as the chair person of a student organisation. I’ve come to think of myself as a rather sociable and well-liked person. I’ve distanced myself from some of the people that did not make me feel good last year… but I can’t avoid them completely. I wish we could all just get along.
I’ve had these reminders hit me a few times. First I’m thinking I’m over all that shit. Then something reminds me about it, and I’m suddenly that rejected miserable lump again. Angry, miserable lump. And then I start thinking it’s inevitable… These new friends will turn out like the old ones. This cycle will just repeat and repeat.
I guess being angry doesn’t help. Dunno what helps. I’ll go grocery shopping and maybe I will forget everything again.
It’s better to cool off anyway and think of different options than the kneejerk reaction.