I loved him so truly and deeply and his departure shattered me. I thought not seeing his face and being able to laugh and smile and be happy with him would be the hardest part; but I was wrong. I see him in everything: from the way the sun sets on the horizon to the still waters of the river early in the morning, I hear his laugh in the breeze of the wind. I see him in the way the rain drops and dances across the pavement as it cleanses the world of it’s sorrows. I see his beautiful eyes in the stars and not a second goes by in the day where I don’t think of him or catch glimpses of him. His presence was the very thing I craved most and now it’s the thing that’s slowly driving me insane. I don’t know how much longer I can do this..
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I hear what you’re saying. I’ve had that feeling. I “have” that feeling. I don’t know if he departed through death or is still alive but just departed? There’s a hard sting when the person only walked away and you’re left standing alone yet see his or her face in every passing stranger…on every billboard…her name jumps from every sign post or is on the tongue of every word spoken. For me, the only relief came through time. Eventually the harshness softens. Oh, I still see and hear her every day, but I’m able to smile and remember with fondness. It doesn’t drive me insane. Or..maybe I fell over the edge of insanity and now I feel this is normal??? Hmm??? Time. Hang in..try to learn to observe the process unfolding.
I too have been where you are. Even worse, more than once, after I survived the first. We love deeply. We are passionate. We are not shallow. We are not ruled by society’s expectations. We are guided by heart. Endure, stong one. If he left, he did not know the true worth of your love. Only you can learn that. Not an easy road, but one that eventually brings sovernty. You will find more comfort in Nature, in the love of a cat or a dog.