Hello all i beleive by the time you read this it will be to late so im just writing this for my family and ill leave it up so they can see. Ive finally reached the edge ive been battling depression and suividde since i was 13/14 years old and attempted it for the first time when i was 13 but i was not able to go through with it im 21 now i have streaches of good and bad but this year has really been it for me i recently moved back to my small hometown about 2 yrs ago after being away for 10 yrs so needless to say i still dont know many people the onnly actual friend ive made was my ex gf but now thats over and she moved on, to add to it my health problems started to come back and ive been in and out of the hospital now ive ended up getting surgery and now i have an ostomy im not able to work which means not only can i not get money to pay for supplies i also am stuck in the house all day pretty much just by myself and its been this way for a few months and im slowly starting to lose grip and im starting to talk to myself really to pass time im also not able to get unemployment or disability which means i pretty much have no way to get ostomy supplies and have to reuse the same thing even if its covered in excrement its embarissing as hell which is why i dont leave home im very lonely since i only really have myself to talk to and ive started to develop a drug/alchol problem because numbing myself is the only way i can make it from day to day, but i finally reached my breaking point i stole money from my grandparents to supply myself with drugs and feel low as i can ever be i just want to apologise to them if they see this im very sorry, and finally if you have read all the way through i thank you it really means alot, i dont really have long to live ive already taken a good amount of pills and am bout to finish off with a few sleeping pills, i truly dont know what ive done to deserve this ive tried hard to be a very good person, i know ive made mistakes but i just dont understand but nevertheless thank you for reading and to my family im truly sorry but this is for the best and to my lil brothes and any young person out there please get help before its to late because its to late for me please dont follow in my foot steps
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
3 comments
I’m sorry this is happening I wish I could say something to make you feel better but my problems are totally different. We all have problems but sometimes we just have to push through it. I’ve been at the breaking point for a while but sometimes we just have to find inspiration. I kind of of have created a phrase which is “Sometimes when we can’t make ourselves happy the best thing to do is try and help someone else. It will give you the fulfillment you need and may help you find what you are looking for.”
This world is cruel, and it gives hell to many people who don’t deserve it. I’m truly sorry that you have lived your life this way, and I hope that if you are still here, that it gets better. Your only 21, you have years before you, good years maybe. If your gone, you will never read my comment, so then you are free of your pain, of everything.
Please don’t do it.