Today I completely forgot that I had a quiz due in one of my classes, because why the fuck would I worry about school when I can’t even with my mental illness. Anyways. I emailed my professor once I realized I hadn’t done it and told her I wasn’t going to be in class due to me being sick and whatnot. That ***** still didn’t want to accept my quiz. Well a loss for you.
My phone went off at the library at 9 a.m. which is the time that I have to take my meds .. I didn’t. Instead I spend my hour and thirty minutes watching videos on youtube, because I have to find some happiness in this place for at least some minutes.
My friend wanted me to go with her to the mall and I tried my best to ignore her, until she found me sitting in the cafeteria. As always she came and just asked why I don’t answer my phone or her texts. Well let’s say I don’t want to deal with people. I didn’t say that but I was just about to. She fantasizes too much about her future and there comes a time when I just don’t want to deal with her crazy fictional world. I ended up going with her to the mall cuz I have a five hour break between my morning and afternoon class. I’m actually quite glad I went. I was able to buy my charger for my phone that I’ve been meaning to buy for a month now and I was thinking on maybe buying a notebook, and write there all of the things that I write here just for a more palpable memory in case, idk this page shuts down or idk … but I didn’t buy it …
One: because both my parents are able to see my debit card movements and I’m definitely not in the mood to explain.
Second: I didn’t know if it was a good idea to do so or not.
Third: …… …. Some of them were a little expensive.
I’ve always been a sucker for those kinds of things, so maybe, MAYBE, I might end up buying one …
I came home after a horrible math test to a horrible headache and hunger.
Then I realized I had to do laundry. I love doing laundry by myself cuz it’s some me alone time, where I can just wait for the laundry to get ready and enjoy my phone.
For a moment tonight, I wasn’t sure if I was going to post because I haven’t been feeling good which is probably because I didn’t take my meds and secondly I just didn’t have the motivation to write, but at the same time I have a feeling of responsibility to keep you all posted on what I do and how I’ve been doing (even though some of you might not care, which is alright). And at the same time it helps me write out my day as a form of diary, hence the reason of me wanting to buy a solid notebook.
Well this is all from me tonight. I will talk to you all tomorrow. I’ll probably post during my break between classes and after work.
Have a goodnight and keep strong, if not, I hope you soon find the peace we are all searching for.
Thank you for reading.