I had a domineering dictator of a dad who I was afraid of for most of my childhood. When I was alone, away from him in my room, I was at peace, there was relief. It’s here I found the freedom in being alone.
When you’re alone, you’re not beholden to anyone, you can slip into anonymity and observe. No strings. No attachment. You only have to check things past yourself.
Of course this aloneness brings loneliness and then you’re at an impasse. This is why my few relationships have failed. I want my cake and eat it to. To be alone but not lonely.
2 comments
I can relate to that, my sperm donor was a festering boil from a witch’s ass so being away from him was nice, though my room was never a completely safe place…
I agree it is hard to reach that balance but it can be done, I’ve supported a friendship where there have been times when we didn’t have contact for a few days, sometimes a few weeks then we’d hang out for a day then repeat, and I’m still friends with her, you don’t have to see someone every single day to have a meaningful relationship
Interesting perspective.