im scared, i dont want to live, but i dont want to buy. Its like someone is telling me to. I have a helium tank on standby to buy. Suicide his a sin, and im just so confused on what to do
I don’t know what to tell you princess. I don’t really believe in sin, but I do understand values, and if your values are deterring you from killing yourself, you should listen to them.
I think you should give life another chance. I know that’s the most ridiculously cliche line that you definitely don’t want to hear right now. No one wants to hear something like that. But I think you should. Life is like that. You don’t want to live for a while. That while can last years, or days, or weeks…whatever. But then something good happens, and you want to live again. And then a hundred bad things happen.
Life is like a huge drinking game. You have hangovers, and you have drunken bouts of happiness. Some people live for one or the other. I personally live for neither, but all I’m saying is, maybe give it some time!
I’m here because i cant just go and end my life, due to my disability i have to plan how without anyone finding out (i have carers coming in and out all day)
I’m not sure I got much goin either and it is damn hard to help someone else when I’m all fucked up too. I do know I’ve been here before though. Just in a different way.
Yeah that’s messed up. Same happened to me. Screwed that up. I don’t know much bout helium besides balloons. But guess too much of whatever could be fatal.
my friends, and carers. I recently broke up with my bf after almost 7 years together. obviously thats upsetting. I have a physical disability and he gave me a sense of life. i also suffer lots of pain. doctors cant control the pain very well. im fed up of not achieving goals because of my disability. people around me just think im heartbroken. I have wanted to die for a long time, im getting tired of the constant battle
Yeah that is a lot. It’s interesting that most of are here for the same reasons, but different. And yet we have this desire to save our own or someone else’s life. You said you posted yesterday. Somehow you got to now. I am not disabled but I’ve fucked my life to where some goals are now impossible. Hence the name wastedlongago. I know that one.
i have a helium tank ready to buy, im too tired to carry on. at the same time i want to live. this is horrible. Yeah i posted on here last night. same problem really
My problem is the same as yesterday too. I made it to now by mostly sleeping. Also by being on this site. At this moment I’m not in an emergency. So I can be here as long as u like. There are many more steps till you are not here anymore. I know what it’s like to plan out. Purchases, money, time, space, quantity…. The whole bit. So unless this happens soon, we got time. If that’s all we got.
Ok I found it. Seems like you just found this site too. Wow many posts and care. Crazy that pure strangers know us better than some who have been around for years.
Yeah I see that. Maybe that was one way you made it thru the night. Maybe you didn’t notice. Apparently the rules state no methods or such. So I don’t think anyone will help unless you talked outside of the site. If I may ask, what is the disability? And how long have you had it.
I can only imagine. One thing on top of another. It’s weird but I have a feeling someone may have it worse than both of us. Not a consolation really I know. But it seems very true. Well look, you have helped me just by spending the time. Not your intention but that’s how it happens sometimes.
That’s my biggest problem. The people I leave behind. Devastating. But I wouldn’t be the first and certainly not the last. People survive and life goes on. Right?
Yeah I just read on suicide last night. Seems to be my topic of late. It talked about how it is so taboo, even a crime in places. So it is done in secret and shame and we are so evil if we actually do. From what I gather it seems that is society and upbringing, religion and stuff. But it is our life to have or not isn’t it?
it depends how you look at it. asa christian, God is in charge. Thats where this decision becomes hard. and yes, its very taboo. Assisted suicide is only allowed in 3 countries
I have a few times. I don’t know but this life just isn’t for some of us for whatever reason. I believe people have their reasons and it’s not for others to decide. I mean I you are dead it doesn’t matter after that. I understood the ones who have done it. Fuck it’s their life. I also support you as the other poster has said. Either way.
Yeah I don’t see any reason, unless I’m actually not here myself. But by talking, I am able to get out of my own shit. Contradicting but I will say I hope so.
Yeah why not. I am the only one to blame for my life. Fucked up decisions. Lost opportunities, but have felt I don’t belong for a while now. Just recently has my depression an anxiety reared its ugly head.
You listened to her. And as soon as you had something to talk about she went to bed. Isn’t that how life is? People only want out of you what they can can get for themselves. This world has strange rules.
Welcome to a new day wasted and princess. I’ll be in and out all day checking on you. Nothing creepy just the quiet lurker in the back giving you my support.
Hi Hazy Day Sunflower. I am still here. Not out of choice to be honest. Everyday is getting harder. I just need a way to succeed in this without it going wrong
Heh… hear you on that one. Youtube and a construction work drill noise keep me company (not so different than the one i’ll hear later at the dentist i guess). How about you, doing something?
If you’re reading up on that, read both good and bad about it. Preeeeetty bad stuff about that method, not that i can discuss it here but… heh, you’ll read it eventually.
so far, i have figured it all out. I just need to buy all the stuff, if this doesnt work, i have plan b set aside. Its ridiculous to have to sneak around. It shouldn’t be illiegal
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Hey, what’s going on? I’m gunna be around for about 10 min or so.
im scared, i dont want to live, but i dont want to buy. Its like someone is telling me to. I have a helium tank on standby to buy. Suicide his a sin, and im just so confused on what to do
I don’t know what to tell you princess. I don’t really believe in sin, but I do understand values, and if your values are deterring you from killing yourself, you should listen to them.
I think you should give life another chance. I know that’s the most ridiculously cliche line that you definitely don’t want to hear right now. No one wants to hear something like that. But I think you should. Life is like that. You don’t want to live for a while. That while can last years, or days, or weeks…whatever. But then something good happens, and you want to live again. And then a hundred bad things happen.
Life is like a huge drinking game. You have hangovers, and you have drunken bouts of happiness. Some people live for one or the other. I personally live for neither, but all I’m saying is, maybe give it some time!
Well I’m here. Been in and out all day. Listening….
my life is just all over the place, nothing is going good right now
Don’t really know if it’s a sin. U know I’m pondering too. For some reason I’m still here and so are u.
I’m here because i cant just go and end my life, due to my disability i have to plan how without anyone finding out (i have carers coming in and out all day)
I’m not sure I got much goin either and it is damn hard to help someone else when I’m all fucked up too. I do know I’ve been here before though. Just in a different way.
i have been here a lot, i tried an overdose, fell asleep and woke up in hospital
Yeah that’s messed up. Same happened to me. Screwed that up. I don’t know much bout helium besides balloons. But guess too much of whatever could be fatal.
helium is an inert gas, very dangerous. It replaces oxygen, thats why your voice goes high
Just being here on this post is a connection I can’t get anywhere else. I’m guessing you feel that way too.
yeah, not many people understand me right now
What is it they don’t understand. And who is they?
my friends, and carers. I recently broke up with my bf after almost 7 years together. obviously thats upsetting. I have a physical disability and he gave me a sense of life. i also suffer lots of pain. doctors cant control the pain very well. im fed up of not achieving goals because of my disability. people around me just think im heartbroken. I have wanted to die for a long time, im getting tired of the constant battle
Yeah that is a lot. It’s interesting that most of are here for the same reasons, but different. And yet we have this desire to save our own or someone else’s life. You said you posted yesterday. Somehow you got to now. I am not disabled but I’ve fucked my life to where some goals are now impossible. Hence the name wastedlongago. I know that one.
i have a helium tank ready to buy, im too tired to carry on. at the same time i want to live. this is horrible. Yeah i posted on here last night. same problem really
My problem is the same as yesterday too. I made it to now by mostly sleeping. Also by being on this site. At this moment I’m not in an emergency. So I can be here as long as u like. There are many more steps till you are not here anymore. I know what it’s like to plan out. Purchases, money, time, space, quantity…. The whole bit. So unless this happens soon, we got time. If that’s all we got.
i kept super busy on 3 hours sleep to be honest. i havent actually bought anything. i need to figure out how to get in my flat without anyone seeing
are you in the hospital now? From your attempt? I’m trying to get a visual.
no, im at home, only attempted once lately, but it was silly
Is like to read your post from yesterday if that’s ok. Unless you would like to tell me your story. No bias or judgement.
post is called deporession
its fine, please feel free to read
Ok I found it. Seems like you just found this site too. Wow many posts and care. Crazy that pure strangers know us better than some who have been around for years.
they were my thoughts, people werent trying to stop me, but help understand
I cant take this torment
Yeah I see that. Maybe that was one way you made it thru the night. Maybe you didn’t notice. Apparently the rules state no methods or such. So I don’t think anyone will help unless you talked outside of the site. If I may ask, what is the disability? And how long have you had it.
its called arthrogryposis. i have had it all my life. there is no way im going to have help on this one
I’ll be in and out all night too princess. Reading and listening. You have my support regardless of your final decision.
im tempted to just do it and not be in pain, but thats selfish isnt it? my friends/family will be in pain
I won’t lie your family and care takers will be extremely sad.
I can only imagine. One thing on top of another. It’s weird but I have a feeling someone may have it worse than both of us. Not a consolation really I know. But it seems very true. Well look, you have helped me just by spending the time. Not your intention but that’s how it happens sometimes.
That’s my biggest problem. The people I leave behind. Devastating. But I wouldn’t be the first and certainly not the last. People survive and life goes on. Right?
im glad i managed to help you 🙂 you are right, people are worse off, unfortunotely doesnt take pain away
right, but, we are seen as the selfish ones
I’m not sure who is more selfish. Them or me.
i would say them for not seeing our suffering. People dont think i will actually kill myself because of my disability
Have you told your caretakers?
Yeah I just read on suicide last night. Seems to be my topic of late. It talked about how it is so taboo, even a crime in places. So it is done in secret and shame and we are so evil if we actually do. From what I gather it seems that is society and upbringing, religion and stuff. But it is our life to have or not isn’t it?
it depends how you look at it. asa christian, God is in charge. Thats where this decision becomes hard. and yes, its very taboo. Assisted suicide is only allowed in 3 countries
Have you ever known someone who has committed?
no, not personally, i have seen people whose friends/family have
im going to enquire about a tank tomorrow, im in too much pain. All your support has been amazing
I have a few times. I don’t know but this life just isn’t for some of us for whatever reason. I believe people have their reasons and it’s not for others to decide. I mean I you are dead it doesn’t matter after that. I understood the ones who have done it. Fuck it’s their life. I also support you as the other poster has said. Either way.
there is just no escape from pain.
I understand. Well at least for now, is there anything else you need to talk about?
no, i can’t think of anything, will you be here tomorrow? its going to taker a while to succeed, will we be able to talk tomorrow evening?
Yeah I don’t see any reason, unless I’m actually not here myself. But by talking, I am able to get out of my own shit. Contradicting but I will say I hope so.
would you like to talk about anything?
Yeah why not. I am the only one to blame for my life. Fucked up decisions. Lost opportunities, but have felt I don’t belong for a while now. Just recently has my depression an anxiety reared its ugly head.
You listened to her. And as soon as you had something to talk about she went to bed. Isn’t that how life is? People only want out of you what they can can get for themselves. This world has strange rules.
i know that looks bad, i didn’t see that last post. im not like that to just ignore someone
i need to sleep, shall talk tomorrow. Will let you know where im up to
Guess you made it thru another day. Fuck some are so hard to get thru. Guess this is for me only now that you are asleep. Lol.
im sorry i fell asleep, how are you feeling today?
Welcome to a new day wasted and princess. I’ll be in and out all day checking on you. Nothing creepy just the quiet lurker in the back giving you my support.
Hi Hazy Day Sunflower. I am still here. Not out of choice to be honest. Everyday is getting harder. I just need a way to succeed in this without it going wrong
is anyone there still?
A few are lurking around i guess, i have a while before running to have a root canal treatment (not looking forward to that one). How are you doing?
not great, feeling so lonely right now
Heh… hear you on that one. Youtube and a construction work drill noise keep me company (not so different than the one i’ll hear later at the dentist i guess). How about you, doing something?
i am just listening to music, i know it probably isnt helpful, but im researching the helium hood method
Checking in. Still breathing.
If you’re reading up on that, read both good and bad about it. Preeeeetty bad stuff about that method, not that i can discuss it here but… heh, you’ll read it eventually.
so far, i have figured it all out. I just need to buy all the stuff, if this doesnt work, i have plan b set aside. Its ridiculous to have to sneak around. It shouldn’t be illiegal
i am aware all methods are bad and may fail. I have developed a plan b
Yeah, the thing is, read up on the consequences of the helium + hood method. You might not even be able to try a plan b.
i just want out of this pain
obviously cant tell you second plan, its more expensive, but more reliable