Tag:

night

i want to disappear but not die?

by randomthoughts57 4/14/2020

written by randomthoughts57

I don’t really know what do with myself anymore. I think that these thoughts are gone but they aren’t. I finally had gotten rid of them but they came back. I don’t even know why I have them too. I have a great life and I am very grateful. So why the heck do I still feel like this.

My thoughts are that I just want to leave. For ever not to another state just leave this earth. But I don’t want to die? I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just want to disappear from this earth and everyone forget I was a person. But […]

4/14/2020 3 comments

Hi, I’m blue

by blue. 1/11/2020

written by blue.

Hi guys, I finished ‘My heart and other black holes’ a few minutes ago. I was reading it second time. Why? Because I feel so bad. I know that I have a lot of mental health problems… yeah… who haven’t here… but sometimes is worse. You know this time in your life (day, week, month) when you feel worse. Worse than normal. I don’t know what I want to say in this post. Maybe I need some space to write about my feelings. I study abroad in London from September. That was my dream, this is my dream. I had been thinking about it since […]

1/11/2020 5 comments

19:49

by plasticflower 11/4/2019

written by plasticflower

to say i’m stressed would be an understatement.
these days have been so hectic, i feel like i can’t keep up with everything, but everyone is constantly telling me to keep up, to cheer up, to calm down, to just stop feeling stressed. mental health has been a mess lately, and today is just not working for me. sometimes i wish i caught a cold so i could rest in bed, but then i remember that even if i’m too ill to get out of bed, i’ll still have to do everything.
the problem isn’t having stuff to do, the problem is having to do […]

11/4/2019 1 comment

8:55pm

by plasticflower 6/20/2019

written by plasticflower

long time no post!!!

i always randomly remember i have this account right when i need it. a whole lot has happened since the last time i posted anything, and honestly it hasn’t been too bad; bearable, i’d say. obviously, there’s many times i wanna sleep forever (guess who still isn’t able to sleep properly!!!!) but on may of last year i started going to university, so i don’t have much time to do anything basically. it’s definitely been an experience and i’m mostly happy about it; i feel like i chose something i could be good at. i just fear that everything that has happened […]

6/20/2019 0 comment

its me, im new

by unknown 4/9/2019

written by unknown

I came across this website tonight as I was drowning in my tears looking for a way out of this hell hole. not sure what im doing here, but this feels right. I need somewhere to write my thoughts and I need someone to listen. so here it is, my name is hannah (as you can see by my username which I didn’t know I couldn’t change.) I am not okay. I am depressed. and today I realized this when I was asked if I was okay and I cried before I could even say “im fine” as I would usually say. I have no […]

4/9/2019 4 comments

Gary Clark Jr. – When My Train Pulls In

by Taf Taf 12/21/2018

written by Taf Taf

Lyrics:

Everyday nothing seems to change

Everywhere I go I keep seeing the same old things

and I, I can’t take it no more

I would leave this town, but I,

I ain’t got nowhere else to go

–

Wake up in the morning to more,

more bad news and I

sometimes I feel like I was born to lose and I,

It’s driving me out of my mind

Gonna catch the next train and I

move on down the line

–

I’ll be ready now

I’ll be […]

12/21/2018 0 comment

The Day

by Taf Taf 10/23/2018

written by Taf Taf

Original version by the New York Rock & Roll Ensemble (1970):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3kS7OcH87Y

Cover version by Raining Pleasure (2005):

Lyrics:

Sitting in the time of day when the sun is very warm

Dreaming in a kind of way that a dream is always born

Drifting with the things I feel when I put away my will

Sleeping in the time of day when the sun is very still.

–

I’m alone here with you / Take my time, take me too…

–

Leaving in the time of day when the sun is getting cold

Walking in the kind […]

10/23/2018 2 comments

The Sound – I Can’t Escape Myself/Hour of Need

by Taf Taf 10/21/2018

written by Taf Taf

Lyrics:

So many feelings
Pent up in here
Left all alone, I’m with
The one I most fear
I’m sick and I’m tired
Of reasoning
Just want to break out
Shake off this skin
–
I can’t escape myself
–
All my problems
Loom larger than life
I can’t swallow
Another slice
Seems like my shadow
Mocks every stride
Can I learn to live with
What’s trapped inside?
–
I can’t escape myself
–
So many feelings
Pent up in here
Left all alone, I’m with
The one I most fear
I’m sick and I’m tired
Of reasoning
Just wanna break out
Shake off this skin
–
I can’t escape myself
I can’t escape […]

10/21/2018 1 comment

The Standells – Paint It Black

by Taf Taf 10/5/2018

written by Taf Taf

Lyrics:

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colours anymore, I want them to turn black
I see the girls go by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
–
I see a line of cars and they’re all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
It’s like a new born baby, it just happens every day
–
I look inside myself and see my heart turned black
I see my red door I must paint it black
Maybe then […]

10/5/2018 1 comment

Remembering Vincent…

by Taf Taf 7/29/2018

written by Taf Taf

Vincent Willem van Gogh – July 29, 1890

https://www.vincentvangogh.org

http://www.vggallery.com/painting/p_0612.htm

http://www.vggallery.com/painting/p_0779.htm

7/29/2018 4 comments

New Order – Truth

by Taf Taf 7/23/2018

written by Taf Taf

7/23/2018 0 comment

Reality is boring ! Real life is boring ! Real world is boring ! Humanity/Mankind must move beyond money & politics for real progress !

by niki 4/14/2018

written by niki

Reality is boring, Humanity/Mankind must move beyond money & politics for real progress.

Although technology have been progressing rapidly nowadays, yet sadly in many aspects, Humanity/Mankind/Society still have slow progress; Everyday is still the same day & problems over and over again repeatedly.

I believe that in order to make a real progress for Humanity / Mankind, we must quickly focus & do the followings:

1) We must move beyond money & politics. It is outdated. A lot of problems in this world today basically stems from these two root causes (& also superstitions especially in religion, as well as in Ignorance & Stupidity due to failure in […]

4/14/2018 5 comments

I wish I live in movies, books, novels, comics, anime, video games. Real world / Real life / Reality is boring & depressing.

by niki 1/26/2018

written by niki

Honestly, I just can’t understand nor fathom why Most / Majority of people can go watch movies, read cool, creative, imaginative books / novels / anime / comics, or play super imaginative & fantasy video games, and then later on they just go back to reality, as if nothing happens, and they’re ok with everything.

I hate to say this, but Most people simply just lack Imaginations. Even worse, Most people are boring. All people care in the everyday’s reality & their lives is just the most superficial, mundane, boring, & stupid things. Which is very depressing, especially when you feel like you’re just alone & […]

1/26/2018 4 comments

Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !

by niki 10/28/2017

written by niki

Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !

Human’s imagination is better than reality !

Movie / Movies is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Game / Games is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Comic / Comics book is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Novel / Novels is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Science fiction ( sci-fi […]

10/28/2017 2 comments

Section 19×5 Plot 21×10

by Erricjjx7 8/20/2017

written by Erricjjx7

Every single minute
Every single hour
Is too late, devoured
Her time had come
Her time had gone
The lyrics are missing, to my song

Every single minute
Every single hour
Was supposed to be ours
Her deed was done
Under a hurting fire
Not only hers to take, expire

She had done much more.

Every single minute
Every single hour
Is too late
3 year
2 year
Of Obligations devoured

All will be finished
All will be done.

“I’m sorry mother”-
Biting my tongue-,

You’ll be missing YOUR heart-,
-missing YOUR son.

8/20/2017 0 comment

whispers

by plasticflower 6/17/2017

written by plasticflower

today i, once again, was welcomed by a quiet house; except it wasn’t. they’re avoiding me. as soon as i opened the door, i heard whispers. a lot of them. now they’ve stopped, maybe they think i can’t hear them. although i quite like arriving and having time for myself, i don’t particularly like the fact that, even though they’re still awake, they’re pretending they’re not. it hurts a lot, but whatever; i can’t blame them. i’d pretend to be asleep all the time if i lived with another me, so i can’t really blame them.

the whispers have started again.

although i’m not 100% this time […]

6/17/2017 1 comment

12:25am

by plasticflower 6/11/2017

written by plasticflower

these past few days have been weird, and i don’t know how to explain it.

i’ve been forgetting to eat, and sleep doesn’t come very easily; when it does come, it brings nightmares and i just keep waking up constantly. really aggressive headaches come and go without explanation. it feels weird.

for about 10 years i’ve had passive suicidal ideations, and active ones as well, but that’s not the point. anyways, they’ve been here for a while. basically, i won’t act up on anything, but i wouldn’t mind if something happened. even though i can’t even remember days where i didn’t feel like this, it seem like […]

6/11/2017 2 comments

quiet house

by plasticflower 6/6/2017

written by plasticflower

tonight when i arrived from work, i was welcomed by silence and lights out, which meant everyone was asleep. i was not surprised, considering i just got here and it’s 11:10 pm. even though i understand why they’re asleep, considering it’s a Tuesday night, i still know that deep down i wish they were waiting for me. but they don’t care that much, and i understand that. i’ve felt very anxious all day, and i don’t know why, considering last night i tried to get more sleep than usual. it’s weird. speaking of weird; today is the birthday of an old friend of mine. she […]

6/6/2017 3 comments

sleep

by plasticflower 6/5/2017

written by plasticflower

i don’t know why, but i’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping. on sunday i went to bed at 4 and woke up at 8. last night i didn’t sleep at all, but i took a nap at 10 because i had to work tonight. and today, here i am. it’s 2:45 and i’m about to go try and sleep. it’s really hard though. most people tell me to just go to bed earlier, but the thing is i just can’t seem to stay asleep for long. i constantly wake up, which makes me more tired. i even noticed how i feel more awake […]

6/5/2017 1 comment

free tomorrow, finally

by plasticflower 6/1/2017

written by plasticflower

today was a busy day. very tiring. though i have two days off now, so that’s good. it rarely feels like i’m actually living though, i’m just going through motions. it’s weird.
still can’t sleep, but oh well.
11:40pm

6/1/2017 3 comments

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