Tomorrow I will attempt suicide for the second time. The first time was basically a joke as I had no idea what I was doing. Since then I have dedicated months to finding an effective method and I think I have.
Tonight I will be setting up a series of delayed emails that I will schedule to be sent out to people sometime next month.
Looking forward to going out the same way I have spent the majority of my life. Alone.
6 comments
Hope things workout for you in trying to wind up the courage to try again
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Im sorry that it has come to this for you. But I hope that you find peace one way or the other.
i have 3 failed attempts … sometimes you just have to know when to stop and live with the pain … it hurts , it feels like you’re dead … it’s worse than anything but … what you do when you can’t die ? you just live … Hope it will work for you . All best wishes to you and everyone on SP .
Yeah the first couple times I tried to suicide it was a joke too. I did it i a rash attempt and just grabbed stuff and tried it. Doesn’t work that way. You come to find out after some lame attempts like that the human body can under go a LOT. and that you have to do your homework and really think about a method that will work if you want to do it right. The last time I tried I wound up in coma for 2 days and came very close to death. Next time I will succeed.
I’m just like those above. I have many “attempts” under my belt, but for the most part, I don’t think I was really serious about it back then, I was mostly just playing around and hoping to stop the pain. More recently I’ve been putting some serious thought into leaving though. My day was supposed to be the previous Friday, luckily I went manic and had a few sort of productive days instead.
I still think I’m going to go, I KNOW I’m going to go, I just don’t know when. Another thing is that only recently, after my last failed attempt, I finally started to think of others, and that’s the only thing keeping me around. I just cant do that to my mother, I know she’d blame herself. Though I was just at the art store and they were selling mini tanks of helium, and that got me thinking again. I’ve never tried the exit bag before. Sorry if that’s not allowed, I don’t think I’m suggesting a method, just talking.
Anyways, I hope you find what youre looking for, regardless of what it is. Just remember, if you’re gone, there’s no chance of ever experiencing pleasure again, even if it is the most fleeting pleasure you can manage. Good luck and god bless.