For the past 6 or 7 months, I’ve been waking up from bad dreams with a pain and sadness in my chest.
On occasion, I’m even lucky enough to be jolted awake by sobs.
I used to rarely remember my dreams, but now they all feel very real. Sometimes I can’t even tell what was a dream and what wasn’t, so I have to ask my mom if an event actually happened, just to be sure.
Most of the dreams I remember nowadays are very upsetting. Last night, I dreamed I was chatting with an old friend from uni, and we were having a great time, but slowly and surely, he started looking at me and responding to me less and less. I kept trying win his attention back, but the harder I tried, the less he responded to me. Eventually, he just stopped responding to me altogether, so I turned away and drank my coffee feeling very hurt and sad that my friend thought I was boring or not worthy of his attention.
My dreams have been like this, and I’ve been waking up so sad.
I’m thinking this last dream I had is because I made the move to deactivate both my facebook and my twitter, because it’s getting too difficult to see all of my peers with their new babies, their baby bumps, their 2 or 3 kids, their vacations to Costa Rica and Europe, their new houses, their new spouses… I know of course things will look bad if you compare your worst to what they want you to see of their best, but… I can’t help feeling like “WHY NOT ME??” haha. But I thought it would be good to take a break from everything so I can think clearly and avoid the inevitable disappointment of checking my phone and seeing nothing but other people feeling good about their lives. I’m truly happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but I’m just trying to protect myself. I don’t like feeling bitter and jealous and like a sad failure lol.
I’m so lucky I have a job where I can work either at home or at the office. Otherwise, I may have already lost my job. Even though I’m behind on a couple of projects, no one seems too angry about it…yet.
But also a question to you all that do me the favor of reading this and responding: How do you get rid of the pain in your chest caused by sadness? It’s become way too frequent recently.
Thanks for reading, guys. x
21 comments
HI.. Thanks for sharing how you feel.. I totally understand the Facebook thing.. and as far as getting rid of pain I have no idea that is was I stay depressed.. that is why I stay preoccupied with sports and never too long without a lady friend, if I can help it
Thanks for reading 🙂
So sports help you forget how you feel? You must be very good at them!
my pleasure.. I must be very good at the sports or very good with the lady friend? lol
Umm…both? lol
But really, I meant sports. But I’m sure you are probably good at both maybe.
ummm yeah both.. hehe.. but I love to run and play tennis and basketball.. tell me something positive about you .. there is always something positive .. although it is often hard for us to see
Tennis looks like such a great workout, I wish I knew how to play haha.
Something positive about me? I’m loyal? I think that’s good. But once you give me a reason not to be loyal, I’m not anymore. i don’t know if that’s bad or good.
no that is a positive thing and thank you for sharing .. yes it is a good workout .. I like to sweat..it helps feel better
if it wasn’t cool..it was definately unique.. sounds dreadfully painfull..and don’t feel bad for your post.. I am just happening to have a few good days right now, but was really down before and felt the same as you..do you have an email.. something cool is how a crazy place like sp can actually make me happy and then I can try to help others..
I’m halfway here… had to finish up a project I forgot for work 🙁 And I’ll continue working on a project I should finish by tonight and neglecting another project due a month and half ago yaayyy. I’m sooo behind bawww…
I’m glad you’re having such good days recently, though!
Hmm… honestly, I’m pretty bad at keeping touch through email. And I’m trying to limit my dependence on other people.
it’s ok I just got some tragic news and I don’t want to talk on here about it
Thanks so much for taking time to reply to someone like me, sportsnut. It means a lot :3
ha…my pleasure.. someone like you.. we are all the same here doll.. I’m pretty excited you to the time to talk to me actually.. tell me something else, cool ..
I dunno, when I reread my first post, I realized how sick and messed up it sounded and I felt bad 🙁 I understand if people don’t want to talk to me after that. It’s really a disgusting thing to do.
Something cool? Umm… Did you know, there’s a surgery in China where if you are desperate to increase your height, they break your shin (?) bone, move the two pieces a few centimeters (I think) apart and hold it that way with a brace, and then let the bone grow back between them, thus making the patient taller? But I heard recovery time is VERY long, like 6+ months, but the people that got it done were satisfied. lol Was that cool?
Okay your turn 😀
response is above
I too have vivid dreams. Mostly they’re not pleasant ones. Sometimes they’re so real that it’s hard to know whether I’m actually awake or still dreaming. The recurring theme is death, dying and decay. I once dreamed I touched my teeth and they all crumbled away to dust. In another I dreamed I’d been stabbed and as I was dying in my dream and everything went dark, I woke up. Doesn’t make for a good start to the day. But….I get up and just put one foot in front of the other until I reach the bathroom! I don’t tell anybody about my dreams, they would have anything constructive to say anyway. Yet another secret to keep *sigh*.
Aren’t the vivid dreams so scary sometimes? I read that dreaming about death is actually a good thing that means birth, or maybe starting something new. Though I don’t know why it would be recurring…unless your dreams are constantly trying to get you to start something new? Or… maybe dreams are jerks and just want to scare you. 🙁
I usually don’t tell people my dreams, but sometimes I just really need the comfort. I only tell my mom and/or a friend of mine, though. If I had a significant other, I’d want to tell them too, so maybe it’s for the best that I don’t have one to prevent another person being annoyed by me lol.
@fae you still around
Hiya! I’d do the same with my facebook account but I use it for other non facebook related things….
Also, About the vivid dreams a friend of mine’s been having them lately, so I just wanted you to know you aren’t alone there.
Thank you 🙂
I sometimes have vivid dreams but usually I can tell they’re not real when I wake up because I’m in a different place and I would’ve had no way to get to wherever I was in the dream.
I’m sorry about your dreams, I have no idea what you can do about them. Or the sadness. Personally I just try to distract myself, talking to people who already know me well, watching a movie, reading if you like that, etc. It always comes back though.
Thanks for your comment. 🙂
I usually try to distract myself as well. Translating really does take my mind off of everything when I can get into it, but sometimes it’s kind of hard to even just uncurl from the fetal position and get started. I’m starting to read again, as well.
Good luck to us.