Dont hurt your self if you want punishment go to the gym and go on the step master punshment enough. But if you gained weight it norma when bodys formal habits break tge body gose in shock to keeb you alive it stores fat . dont starve your self unless you wanna be skinny but balled .
I appreciate your help, Kupo, I really do. But this is about more than my weight. It’s just everything building up. The bottom line is, I’m garbage and the only way I’ll forgive myself for being garbage is if I take the punishment for it.
No you are not garbage like I said punishment step master do an hour of it. It’s never ending stairs you will be in pain . dont you dare blame yourslef either for feeling like this * flicks you on the forehead* stop it .
Well, as much as I like the idea of seemingly endless physical pain, I can’t go to a gym anyway because I can’t drive there and because I’m sick and will get my flu germs all over the equipment.
But thanks Kupo. You’re too nice to me.
Maybe thats part of the problem, you first need to let go of others opinions then learn to accept yourself and then you can start to get heal and if desired change yourself
Harder than it looks. I think I’m past the point of deprogramming.
I have no idea why everyone wants to save me now. Why didn’t anybody give a shit when I was little and still had a chance? Where were all of these outstretched hands then?
No, everyone tries to fix their broken adults but nobody thinks to stop BREAKING their fucking KIDS to begin with.
Yeah I understand, Im way too angry most of the time (hence the name) and at all kinds of shit like the world, shitty people, shitty systems, shitty services, obviously I could go on and on but yeah you get it.
These are the times to let go and or say fuck it! I dont care!
Really this has helped a lot for me
I was so close to self harming today, I had the knife (long ways not the point) pressed against my skin eeeally hard but I guess I didnt want the blood (never normally matters) so I didnt slide bbut yeah left a hefty mark
I’m very sorry about that. At least you decided against it.
Myself, I don’t cut. I do other things, but have never cut myself up before. But I’m so desperate today who knows what I’ll try? Actually, I think a better question would be who cares what I’ll try.
Yeah doesnt sound good, though cutting leaving permanent (or near) scars on the physical body. I have a funny crossing cut on my slightly upper arm (kinda glad its not my wrists too visible) and when ny bro saw it he said id better stop it or he’d belt me one. Good that he cares i guess…
It is good that he cares, even if he has a funny way of showing it. And that’s a really good point. And I guess in that respect, self harm m3thods like choking are a lot better than cutting.
The only problem is, it doesn’t hurt nearly enough.
If I could find a way to harm myself repeatedly, that leaves no marks and hurts like Hell, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
May I suggest ou start with Blue is the Warmest Color and after you are done gouging your eyes out from watching all the awkward sex scenes you can watch the sequel because, yes there is a sequel. Netflix or hulu not sure which.
Oh yes. You are in for a real treat. It is critically acclaimed and has virtually no plot. Be sure to take absolutely no bathroom breaks and drink a lot of water. That should assist in hitting all five senses. Enjoy the torture. For added torture add a hipster. Or my mother in law proclaiming over and over is that two GIRLS??,” ” Why does that girl have blue hair?” Or (and tjis is a pro level thing only) have both in the room. I’ve never achieved having both in the room. But a girl can dream.
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Ok calm it down there . are you on diet of some sort
Yeah.
Is it like a starvation diet or healthy smaller portions going to the gym
Not starvation. I still eat well. Admittedly do very little exercise in addition but like I said, I’ll punish myself for that soon.
Dont hurt your self if you want punishment go to the gym and go on the step master punshment enough. But if you gained weight it norma when bodys formal habits break tge body gose in shock to keeb you alive it stores fat . dont starve your self unless you wanna be skinny but balled .
I appreciate your help, Kupo, I really do. But this is about more than my weight. It’s just everything building up. The bottom line is, I’m garbage and the only way I’ll forgive myself for being garbage is if I take the punishment for it.
No you are not garbage like I said punishment step master do an hour of it. It’s never ending stairs you will be in pain . dont you dare blame yourslef either for feeling like this * flicks you on the forehead* stop it .
Well, as much as I like the idea of seemingly endless physical pain, I can’t go to a gym anyway because I can’t drive there and because I’m sick and will get my flu germs all over the equipment.
But thanks Kupo. You’re too nice to me.
Do leg lifts at home then . Theres always ways to gym at home
Will it hurt enough? That’s all I care about.
Oh yea you been pukeing what other pain do you want stop it girl stop it .
I only puked once.
If you do it enough yes and towmorrw and the day after .
I’m going to keep doing these exercises like y’all said but for the record I feel like the world’s biggest tool right now.
As long as you dont give two shits about what OTHERS think
Too bad about 98% of my sense of self worth hinges on what others think.
Maybe thats part of the problem, you first need to let go of others opinions then learn to accept yourself and then you can start to get heal and if desired change yourself
Harder than it looks. I think I’m past the point of deprogramming.
I have no idea why everyone wants to save me now. Why didn’t anybody give a shit when I was little and still had a chance? Where were all of these outstretched hands then?
No, everyone tries to fix their broken adults but nobody thinks to stop BREAKING their fucking KIDS to begin with.
It probably sounds like I’m angry at you, Mr. Angry, but I’m not. Just angry at the way things are.
Yeah I understand, Im way too angry most of the time (hence the name) and at all kinds of shit like the world, shitty people, shitty systems, shitty services, obviously I could go on and on but yeah you get it.
These are the times to let go and or say fuck it! I dont care!
Really this has helped a lot for me
What has helped? SP? Or saying “fuck it”?
Very much so SP but also “fuck it” cause otherwise theres too much worry and thoughts and then it xan lead to more mental and physical problems
Hay fish make your u don’t use a crow bar this time I no I side u like pain
I think I have a crowbar here somewhere but it’s really hard to beat yourself up with one. That kinda requires a helper.
I just want to shred myself into bloody confetti. Or maybe someone else. But I guess it’s better to hurt yourself than someone else.
Yeah I self harmed today your not alone better to try murder your self then someone else joke did u say was from Virginia ? Fish
Yeah, Virginia.
No was just wondering though it was someone else but it was u my memory not going just yet lol
Oh, okay.
Why?
I was so close to self harming today, I had the knife (long ways not the point) pressed against my skin eeeally hard but I guess I didnt want the blood (never normally matters) so I didnt slide bbut yeah left a hefty mark
I’m very sorry about that. At least you decided against it.
Myself, I don’t cut. I do other things, but have never cut myself up before. But I’m so desperate today who knows what I’ll try? Actually, I think a better question would be who cares what I’ll try.
I care what you try…
I’m sorry.
If it helps, at least a knife doesn’t slowly kill your brain cells. Usually I choke myself, and that’s what choking does.
Yeah doesnt sound good, though cutting leaving permanent (or near) scars on the physical body. I have a funny crossing cut on my slightly upper arm (kinda glad its not my wrists too visible) and when ny bro saw it he said id better stop it or he’d belt me one. Good that he cares i guess…
It is good that he cares, even if he has a funny way of showing it. And that’s a really good point. And I guess in that respect, self harm m3thods like choking are a lot better than cutting.
The only problem is, it doesn’t hurt nearly enough.
If I could find a way to harm myself repeatedly, that leaves no marks and hurts like Hell, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
I just really hate myself. Inside and out.
You could make yourself watch 5 french new wave movies in a row. That surpasses any kind of harm you could possibly do to yourself.
May I suggest ou start with Blue is the Warmest Color and after you are done gouging your eyes out from watching all the awkward sex scenes you can watch the sequel because, yes there is a sequel. Netflix or hulu not sure which.
The title alone tells me that I’m in for a treat.
Oh yes. You are in for a real treat. It is critically acclaimed and has virtually no plot. Be sure to take absolutely no bathroom breaks and drink a lot of water. That should assist in hitting all five senses. Enjoy the torture. For added torture add a hipster. Or my mother in law proclaiming over and over is that two GIRLS??,” ” Why does that girl have blue hair?” Or (and tjis is a pro level thing only) have both in the room. I’ve never achieved having both in the room. But a girl can dream.
Hmm…well, I have Netflix. Challenge accepted.
Everyone, group hug Kat!
*bear hugs Kat* XD
*tackle hugs Kat
Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. 🙂