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For Cordless

by Alan Ominous
written by Alan Ominous

Per your self description. A flatulent pyromaniac, mermaid potato ( mermato), insomniac soy addict.IMAG0134

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23 comments

mindlessgamer619 4/6/2016 - 12:36 am

I’ll just go on the record and say that this is not an accurate description of her. At all.
This looks like something out of a twisted Dr. Seuss story:
“One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish…
Ahh but what’s this?
It comes from the deep, pulled up from the black, spent a few years stuffed in a potato sack, festered underwater, it can’t sleep a wink, and it just so happens it has soy to drink…
A mermaid you say, from the depths of hell?
A flatulent pyromaniac as far as I can tell.
But an underwater pyromaniac. Oh you wish,
but alas this mermato is mostly a fish…”

Alan Ominous 4/6/2016 - 12:38 am

That’s some funny shit right there.

Cordless 4/6/2016 - 12:45 am

I had to stare at it for awhile before I realized that being a flatulent pyromaniac means I would be farting flames.

This actually makes perfect sense because I love eating hot peppers.

Alan Ominous 4/6/2016 - 12:47 am

Actually, I’m a terrible drawerer but I attempted to illustrate you igniting your farts.

Cordless 4/6/2016 - 12:49 am

That’s why I never get invited to any of the cool mermaid parties.

Alan Ominous 4/6/2016 - 12:54 am

That and being half potato… I can’t imagine your plight. The segregation. All the beautiful Ariel ocean princesses, but your a potato… all the big hearty russets, but you got a fish tail…

mindlessgamer619 4/6/2016 - 12:56 am

Don’t you get it? She’s the one. The fabled bridge between mermanity and potato kind…

Cordless 4/6/2016 - 12:56 am

Half potato, half fish…

I could kill myself by leaping into a deep fryer, and then I would become fish and chips.

Alan Ominous 4/6/2016 - 1:01 am

I don’t think it works that way…. pretty sure that’s just deep fried abomination.

mindlessgamer619 4/6/2016 - 1:02 am

*ba dum tiss*

mindlessgamer619 4/6/2016 - 1:02 am

That was not for you Alan.

Cordless 4/6/2016 - 1:09 am

And here I thought “deep fried abomination” was something like these:

http://greatideas.people.com/2014/10/09/texas-state-fair-fried-foods/

Cordless 4/6/2016 - 1:10 am

And here I thought “deep fried abomination” was something like these:

greatideas.people.com/2014/10/09/texas-state-fair-fried-foods/

Alan Ominous 4/6/2016 - 1:21 am

I was going to link… but apparently mermato are quite popular…. there’s even a Mr.Potato Head Mermaid Edition.. so hmm. Think that’s my next addition to the collection of cordless related items.

Alan Ominous 4/6/2016 - 1:23 am

Also, mindless… you can fan boy Cordy all you like elsewhere. On my post, you’re my side kick dammit. I’m batman, you’re Robin alright?

Cordless 4/6/2016 - 1:23 am

I thought you were kidding about the Mr. Potato Head Mermaid, but… yeah.

amazon.com/Mrs-Potato-Head-Match-Mermaid/dp/B0012LEKS4

Wow.

Cordless 4/6/2016 - 1:27 am

The way I understand it is that Alan is head of the Stalker Division, whereas Mindless is head of the Fanboy division.

Cordless 4/6/2016 - 1:27 am

The paychecks have to be issued from separate departments.

PhantomCitizen43 4/6/2016 - 10:29 am

Yeah when I herd the term Flatulent Pyromaniac > the first thing I thought of was a person who farts flames!! The imagery that popped into my head thinking about that was very funny!!

Alan Ominous 4/6/2016 - 1:37 am

Right… I guess that’s politics at its finest.

Cordless 4/6/2016 - 1:39 am

It’s sort of like the bureaucracy thing with satan’s armpit and the blue straw.

mindlessgamer619 4/6/2016 - 1:48 am

So Alan and I work in the same place then?

Cordless 4/6/2016 - 1:51 am

Apparently.

Sorry I can’t offer better insurance.

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