I set a new record, happiness for more than 3 months. Ups and downs are the epitome of my life. I am sad then happy, sad then happy, and it just repeats itself; it has been repeating itself. I have been going through a lot of thinking lately and my thoughts are whats’ bringing me down. I haven’t talked to my bestfriend in a long time and I feel bad. Because of me flaking on her and not talking to her in a while and not having sent the letter I promised I can’t even talk to her. This is my sorry ass attempt in hoping she sees this to know that I am not ignoring/avoiding her. Also I am stuck in between two people I call ‘Myself’. I want to be this person but then I want to be that person. This person is better than that person but that person is better than this person. Yup. I just thought about something. During my period of depression I binged heavily on a lot of animes and indulged in my computer gaming very much. Once I started to feel happier, or not depressed rather, those things didnt interest me. Lately how I have been caught in between, I have felt the need to watch an anime and wash the dust from my computer. It would be strange of ‘that’ person to be into that kind of stuff but for ‘this’ person that doesnt matter. Fuck.
1 comment
HI Rick51: I’m a little late commenting on this. I wanted to let you know I read it and the idea of being two separate people makes loads of sense. I like to binge on anime when I am down too. That and Korean drama…but sometimes the subtitles get a little much and I switch back to anime.
Hope you are in a slightly better place today. Just call your friend. Tell her you still love her and wait for the response. No better time than today to reach out and flick someone in the ear.