So as you know I’m home in Chicago with my parents because my mother is making her own problems …. had stoke she said it all lie …migrains yes that’s all….but whatever .

Anyway I kind of left my husband being away from them I realized (well I always knew ) I’m alone I told my husband I been cutting yesterday …and that he has been leaving me alone and in pain emotionally and physically it not that I can hide the the cuts that well my sleeves are short and so are my night gowns . You could of noticed them easily but he chose not see it .

I found out yesterday he had the ability to come home for the last two three months . So all that did was show me how he dose not care at all . He never once seen me crying because I was everyday because his family eat my heart out and I hate in that town .

I told them I was to kill myself thirty days ago . No one cared more brain wash on how I don’t love there son and how bad I am and selfish .

He told me today when I said I need a break I can’t Handel it there no more …I’m a liar and he knew this was. Gonna happen that’s why he don’t come . And I never showed him that I loved him . And I need to get a the plane to show my love ….when I told you 7 hours ago I cut to deal with everything there because he leaves me alone and  in this marriage of ours .

He already had people ready to settle us and his father wants me out .

BTW Sandra broke her. Ankel how the world goes round and god’s what dose .

So today I Agrued you knew I wanted to kill my self and you left me there and didn’t care how about how I feel for I really fell for ..I  wa blind and I   I didn’t pay attention . I am so stupid he has not showed me once that he truly care . But don’t love him  that why I followed him across country secretly on nerve pills .. eat his family shot from a spoon …while he told me he can’t come to my sick mother because they don’t ask nicely and I have a higher tolarnce for shit taking g Ithwn he die I guess .  So he told me I discarased his family name and try to tear if from his family and hurt him …when all I ever what a place for my self ….